2005-05-26 Dear Die-ary

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DEAR DIE-ARY

I stare at the world... and the world stares back at me. For too long I've sat and done nothing, waiting for the girl to return to fullfill my promise. My friends aren't very numorious, infact I can honestly say I've had less than five my entire life. When it all began I was driVen by the emotions that where bottling themselves inside me and I felt as though the entire world where against me. By the time I opened my eyes it was too late. When I was given a second chance, I swore it where a joke. A dream. A figment of some long forgotten imagination. But when I realised it was more than that I ran as opposed to standing up for mYSelf. I ran and I hid myself away as far as I could go. But the fruit rotted and the magGots consumed the flesh. The beasts I felt I'd imagined came back for me. In the end I became one of them, letting myself believe I was doing what was right. I was cast away for my sins, forced upon a world where no ill could befall it. ...and I helped to DEsTroy it. Reclaiming my identity I went forth and created a new world with the aid of one of the few who've helped me in my lIFe. I waited there until I felt I could just fade away, hoping to fullfill my promise. That day never caMe. I was never granted my chance to redEEm myself for everything I'd done. I cn still feel the guilt burning inside me. Today I looked myself in the mirror. I saw the darkness that lurked inside me as another me, from another wurld. That mirror image from the world I'd always assumed was beTter. Instead of learning from this ExpErienCe, I RuIneD it. I RAn forTh aND TRieD tO kiLl me. TrIeD to TaKe baCk tHaT lIfE ThAt WaS sTollIn FrOM Mee. THhE LOrD lAVOs, He-hE T-LLs Me WHaT To DO... HE TILLS Me wHOo Tu KiLL. I LiKe To KiLL. Heh... I MeEt My seLf tUdAy, anD I BeCAmE hIM. THEee StolE mY LiFe frUm me. ToOk IT aWAy. Now I taKe IT FRum ThEM... IlL BrKe it aWaIE. 5toP TiME. Ye5. ThaT wiLL 5How thEm. RemoVe the baRRiers. TakE it All down. Start it over again. I'll find her and I'LL keeP her. KeeP her Safe. TheN they'll all come back. Yes, my friends came back once. And they'll come back aGain. I won't be Alone anymorE. Weed out the BaD seeds. REMOVe the TAinTed anD finD the pURe. Yes... I'll fInd her and Fix this. I've beeN broken fOR too lonG. Nothing can 5Top me noW...

~J.C.

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