2007-05-06 (PreU) Readers beware

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Readers beware

Summary: In the not-so-distant future, 1004 AD. There was a guy named Johnny, not so different than you or me. He walked into the Usual Restaurant, got into a fight and stepped on Crux. Then there was blood and violence filling up that place, but the commentary track kept exploding in their faaaaaace. Yes. I know. I'm being stupid, but that's the point. Subjected for your approval a scene with running commentary. Yes, I'm sorry dear folks but Chuck's Zombie Petting Zoo invades a log and anarchy ensues...



Who: caliga, crux, Johnny_C, oblivion, Prinnies
When: May 6th, 2007
Where: The Usual Restaurant(#1836R)


Caliga-icon.gifCrux-icon.gifJohnny C-icon.gifOblivion-icon.gifPrinnies-icon.gif

The information contained within this log is to be considered information gained Out of Character (OOC).
This information may not be used as In Character (IC) knowledge or in roleplay unless it has been learned in-game or permission has been granted by the parties involved.

Questions should be directed to staff.


The Usual Restaurant(#1836R)

You walk into a very large restaurant with high ceilings that leave the rafters exposed. Fluroescent lamps hang from the ceiling, adding light to the place and tables. Windows adorn the sides of the place, looking out onto the chaos that is Twisted. On some of the walls are paintings, photographs, and some holograms of different B-movies, and a number of people who tend to visit the UR as they're singing karaoke. The hardwood bar rests at the back of the place, it's surface polished and shiny and all together spotless (most of the time). Behind the bar are various beverages that are servered and a giant mirror. There seems to be an inordant amount of different drinks. A large stage rests in one of the corners of the restaurant, with an amazing sound system and a few microphones strung about it. Multiple round wood tables are in the room, and a swing door leads into the kitchen. Another door leads to the dance club, and another to the gym. And of course, there's and exit outside. A large fireplace rests in one of the walls, with a beautiful stone chimney that flows up and out. A long spiral staircase rests near the entrance to the kitchen, leading to a second floor balcony that overlooks the UR itself. The lights up there are a bit dimmer than those down below.


The Usual is mostly peaceful today. No strange travelers. No weird omnipresent shades of the color blue. Even the skutters which have slowly started making themselves a trademark of the Twisted branch of the establishment are somewhere out of sight. Nothing seems to move aside from the new NPC branded bartender of the night and the form of the Johnny the Resident Maniac sitting at the bar gulping down some cherry flavored NON ALCHOHOLIC substance.

>>Chuck laughs from his chair behind the monitor. "Oh god. This is stupid. He should be killing that bartender right now! What kind of maniac are we supposed to take him for?"

The doors to the Usual Resturant suddenly are opened by two middle aged men, dressed in the garb of shinto priests, but the oddest thing of all is the fact both men have halos floating above their heads. The men lower their heads in a bow, as a faint clink of armor echoes out loudly. The clinking gets louder as a near incorpreal specter comes into view, seemingly becoming more and more corpeal by the moment as he nears the doors. By the time he reaches the door, a faint mist fading off of his body. He looks around the resturant, before saying in a soft voice, "You two are dismissed."

>>Borg just seems to blink. "Who the fuck let this freak in? Someone get Anne Rice on the phone. One of her rejects is running about."

>>Chuck laughs at Borg. "Oh come on. It's not that bad. Maybe Mr Ominious is here to ask Goth-boy out for a date. Could make a good after-school special..."

>>Borg snickers. "Oh yeah. ABC here we come."

>>Chuck shakes his head, "Nah. ABC wouldn't touch it. FOX maybe, but only if you make them both black."

>>Borg says, "Now Chuck. You can't say that. That's inappropriate. They have to be gay and black. Brokeback Mountain type shit."

Johnny casts the newcomer an idle glance between sips. Rolling his eyes at the 'guards', Nny begins to snicker to himself before finally leaning back and drawing one of his daggers to twirl beside him.

>>Chuck rolls his eyes, "Ok, this is annoying. I thought Johnny would be cutting people up by now. Who the fuck is playing him? This is worse than Seventh Heaven reruns..."

Unable to help himself, Johnny smirks at Caliga. "So, hey? Subzero? You supposed to be some kind of royalty or something? I've never seen someone escorted in here before."

>>Chuck smirks, "It's the fashon police. He's under arrest for impersonating a hot topic."

The two men give a faint nod, before vanishing from sight. Caliga continues into the resturant, the clinking of the armor continuing its eerie symphony. He looks at Johnny, and grins slighty. "Snot Gothic called. They want their haircut back."

>>Borg seems to give a faint laugh at that one. "Well, the Anne Rice reject DOES have a point.."

"As for if I'm royalty, that could be said. Of course.. You.." Caliga seems to eye Johnny for a moment as if to make a good judgement of him. "You seem to be a bit.. wacky."

>>Borg laughs loudly. "Wacky!"

>>Chuck laughs along with Borg, "Oh god. Here it comes..."

>>Intern #43 walks into the room, glancing at the scene on the monitor. "What're we watching?"

In the Usual, there are three things that can be expected without question. Violence, insanity, and the complete or partial demolition of the structure at any given time. With the maniac and the strange new face already residing in the bar... that only leaves one thing missing. The noise is deafening, as Crux falls through the building from the very top, not stopping until he hits the floor RIGHT in between Johnny and the mysterious newcomer. The dust settles quickly, and the noise subsides, save for one thing... snoring. Loud snoring. Ah, Crux, we never fail to impress with our entrance, do we?

>>Intern #43 blinks and claps at the events on screen. "Ooh! NAVY SEALS!"

"Is she gone?". A moment later, something peers over the edge of Crux' pants. It's a wierd guy with black armor, eyes glowing red through the visor. Yes, it's Oblivion. Why he's there, HOW he's there, only he knows. Point is, he's there.

Johnny starts hacking and coughing mid-drink. His dagger falls to the floor beside him. Spitting a mouth full of soda onto himself the maniac leaps to his feet and with a quick abuse of his powers both his black bladed daggers are in his hands again. He looks ready to leap upon the newcomer when Crux manages to fall right past him, nearly getting cut on the drawn weapons. Johnny's obvious anger surpasses even that as he literaly places a foot onto Crux's head and perches on him while he screams, "WACKY?!?!? WAAAAACKY!?!?!? NO ONE FUCKING CALLS ME WACKY!!!! OF ALL THE GODDAMNED ASS-LANCING WORDS YOU FUCKING CALL ME WACKY!?!?!? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU POPTART MILKING SON OF A PRICK?!?"

>>Chuck waves at the Intern as the inventive profanity catches him off-guard. "Poptart Milking?? How the hell do you do that??" Trying to prevent himself from giggling, the murder shakes his head. "It's funny, but I'm sorry. Real serial killers don't cuss like that. Hell, no one says 'fuck' that much..."

A prinny peers down from the rafters at Chuck, and shouts "Fuck you, dood!"

>> Intern #43 hums happily to himself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...."

>>Chuck shakes his head angrily, "Oh, knock it the fuck off. I don't fucking say 'fuck' that much, fucker..."

The prinny blinks as it's suddenly kicked from behind, by who and how, we don't know. It falls towards NNY, flailing wildly, and shouting "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" as it falls!

Caliga grins at Johnny. "Poptart milking? My my my, aren't we creative? Why not 'Turtle Humping Son of a Bitch?' instead, hmmm?" He steps over Crux, and passes right by Johnny, taking a seat at the bar. A faint glance is given to the waitress, who seems to rush off to the back, before coming back with a bottle of wine. She reaches beneath the counter, and pulls out a large wine glass. The bottle is already corked, having already had ample time to breathe. She pours a small amount into the glass, which Caliga picks up, and swirls around for a moment. "Cheers." He then takes a small sip from the glass, continuing to watch Johnny and the stepping stone that is known at Crux.

>>Borg blinks a few times. "Poptart milking? Man has the maniac sank to new lows these days. I swear, sometimes I think the writers aren't even trying. And Chuck, you say fuck more then an entire varsity basketball team who just found out their normal baby oil has been replaced with Icy Hot."

Oblivion smiiiiiles suddenly, and disappears back into Crux' pants. where he goes, nobody knows.

Crux continues snoring as his head is stepped on. After Caliga steps on him, he rolls over in his sleep, his hand flying up and smacking the prinny off into the kitchen, all the while his neck twisted in a completely unhealthy fashion as his head remains pinned underneath Johnny's boot. "Mnn... five more minutes, Locke... Maria's about to tell Carlos that he's actually Starr's brother's cousin's sister's mother's father's former room-mate..." Snore.

>>Intern #43 continues smiling to himself in that dopy fashion, riveted. "Ooh! ... What does that make Carlos and Starr then?!?"

>>Chuck chooses to ignore Borg for the moment but not before informing the Intern, "Absolutely nothing... Hey, wait. Did anyone else notice that the waiter just got a sex change? I coulda sworn it was a guy in the first pose. How are we supposed to believe any of this if they can't even keep the same cast between poses." He crosses his arms and leans forwards, "It's like that Oblivion guy. What the fuck? Where's the believabilty in that? Next Chiyo-chan's father from Azumanga Diao is gonna show up and start fighting Prinnies..."

Johnny turns to follow Caliga completly ignoring most of what is said. "YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK!! NO ONE CALLS ME WACKY!!!!" His anger has reached the point where his skin turns black and his eyes burn with an unatural red light. His hands are so tightly wound onto his daggers that blood has started dripping from his nails digging into his palm. The blood of course turns black as it hits the floor and seems to absorb into his shadow, but none the less it's still blood.

>>Chuck shakes his head again, "Yeah, look out. Angsty McNightmare might try to slice open his wrists next."

The lights suddenly flicker, a chilling wind blows, and one of the doors creeeeaaaaaks on it's hinges.

>>Borg says, "Someone get the set manager on the line. He's screwed up somewhere. This now looks like a bad B rated horror movie."

>>Chuck smirks, "B rated? It's not even an F rated at this point. I bet someone's filming another SAW movie next door."

The prinny meanwhile lands on the ground in front of NNY and explodes in a plume of flame.

>>Chuck applauds. "FINALLY! Some action!! And the award goes to the self-frying chicken!"

"Take what back? You just said 'wacky' five times now, compared to my two.. So shouldn't you be taking it back?" Caliga grins as he pours more wine into his glass, filling it about three quarters of the way full. The glass is brought to his lips, and another sip is taken. He glances down at Crux, hiding his amusement at the mans words.

>>Borg groans. "I swear. The Prinnys these days are getting worse and worse. Soon they'll form an Union and demand benefits."

>>Intern #43 claps his hands again. "Oh yeah! That reminds me! I want a raise!"

>>Borg says, "Do you have a name yet?"

>>Chuck laughs, "Sure, you'll get a raise. You can go from volunteer to victim. That good enough for you?"

>>Intern #43 claps his hands happily. "Victim! Victim! More screen time!"

>>Chuck shakes his head. "Alright fine. Soon as this is over we'll see if we can make you explode like that prinny there."

>>Borg grins. "I got some C-4 out back Chuck. I was saving it for a special occasion of course.."

>>Chuck jaw-drops, "You've been holding out on me?? What the fuck?? That's it. No more eating the corpses for a week..."

Crux just continues laying there as another prinny mysteriously explodes inches from his face. The first one must've been a dec-*BOOOM* The kitchen staff can be seen flying out of the kitchen on fire. Hmm. "... Mmm. Toasty warm." He grabs Johnny's shoe and suddenly rolls over with the foot in his hands, pulling on it like a blanket that he's pulling over himself. The flames seem to cease to exist where they would touch him, like a badly edited movie.

>>Intern #43 claps his hands. "Look, he got his very own shoe!"

One by one, the light fixtures start to swing gently back and forth, making the shadows in the room dance. Some flicker, some don't, some creeaakk, others don't. A slight girlish giggle can be heard from.... somewhere distant?

>>Chuck sings, "These boots where made for walkin' and they'll.... well, not anymore." As the lights flash he blinks, "Allllright! The writer's gotten so annoyed with the scene that they're bringing in the kids from the Grudge. Now it's really gonna start to suck!"

>>Borg snickers. "So we'll get to see Buffy? I always wondered if she'd taste like bitch or not.."

>>Intern #43 pipes up. "LIKE CHICKEN! LIKE CHICKEN!"

>>Chuck asks, "Buffy the prinny slayer? No even she's smart enough not to be in this scene."

>>Chuck continues, "The kids are free. They're like the bonus at the bottom of a rejected happy meal. Would you like some fries with that Grudge sir?"

>>Borg says, "Oh. So they're McGrudges?"

Johnny looks ready to charge again until Crux yanks him backwards forcing him to fall flat on his ass. Which is a good thing because of the unexpected flames errupting from the kitchen. Johnny takes a moment to pay attention to his surroundings and next he's poking Crux in the head with a dagger. "Yo. Crux. Wake up. This guy called me Wacky. Wanna help me kill him?"

>>Chuck screams, "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! He can kill hundreds of people but he wants to wake up the moron passed out on the floor before he does anything?? WHAT A FUCKING LOOSER!!"

A commotion can be heard in the Kitchen. Sung Lo, the legendary chef, can be heard doing his kickass-ery, and the sound of kitchen impliments being used as expert weapons can be heard. A moment later, Oblivion comes running out of the kitchen, screaming "MY ASS IS ON FIRE! MY ASS IS ON FIRE!!! AAHH!!! FIND THE CHICKEN SO I CAN PUT IT OUT!". He has kitchen knives imbedded in three parts of his chest, a cleaver in the middle of his head, a butter knife stabbed into his crotch, and several throwing ka-bobs mpaling different areas. His rear end is trailing a gout of flame behind him as he runs out the front door, and down the street.

>>Borg just remains silent. "They've just given up now."

>>Chuck blinks, "Hey... I get it. They're filming the Jerry Springer show in the kitchen. Damnit, MOVE THE FUCKING CAMERA!!"

>>Borg says, "We can't. The camera man is on a break."

>>Chuck's ignoring him again, "JERRY!!! JERRY!! JERRY!!"

>>Intern #43 says, "I heard they're having a special on psycho killers who marry their cousins! Turn it up!"

>>Chuck chuckles at the Intern. "Y'know? The camera guy's probably the prinny that blew up. Maybe the writer will go next."

"That's six times now." Caliga seems to be taking great enjoyment in taunting Johnny. "Want to try to go for seven?" The glass is set down upon the counter, as his hands are folded together in mock amusement at the Maniac and his sleeping friend. A faint smirk appears on his face as Oblivion goes flying out of the kitchen and out of the resturant. "I think that man deserves the title 'wacky' more then you.. Opps. I've said it three times now.."

Crux grumbles as he gets poked with a sharp implement, which doesn't draw blood at all until his eyes flutter open, and then it sinks straight into his skull with a sickening *Splorch* "...Ungh?" He twitches spasmodically for a moment, and then his arms are flailing wildly. "I'll be good! I'll be good! Just ten more minutes!" Oh, goodie, the number of minutes has INCREASED. Excellent. "Jonie loves Chachi..."

>> Intern #43 sings, "THESE HAPPY DAYS ARE YOURS AND MINE!"

>>Borg says, "And to think, you bitch about me Chuck."

>>Chuck sweatdrops at Borg. "Excuse me? I happen to like Happy Days. It was a good waste of time while waiting for the next America's Most Wanted to come on..."

Johnny grins as the blade penetrates Crux's skull. Giggling he removes the blade, wiping the blood on the slumberer's clothes. His mood lightened he stands and stares at Caliga a moment before saying, "Alright. So what the fuck is your deal? You just show up here to piss people off or what? I've got enough bullshit to deal with without putting up with your crap too and I already know I don't have to worry about what happens if I kill your ass." Johnny smirks as one of his daggers vanish into his sleaves and he begins to twirl the other one. "You might wanna think about that carefully before you answer..."

>>Chuck groans. "He's procrastinating again. One moment longer and I'm going to take him off my myspace friend list..."

>>Intern #43 grins, "I have a myspace friend! His name's Tom!"

>>Chuck laughs, "Yeah, everyone knows Tom. You think we could get him to guest spot in an episode?"

>>Intern #43 runs out of the room. "Lemme go ask!"

>>Chuck sweatdrops. "Oh god... I need to quit using my page to ask for new Interns..."

"Wanna put that to the test goth-boy?" Caliga merely sits there, his smirk turning into an overly polite smile at Johnny. "Man oh man, is this going to be one 'wacky' night."

>>Borg nods in agreement. "Yeah. You do."

When Johnny's dagger is removed, Crux's arms fall to the floor, and he curls up in a little ball. "Mmm... Goodnight." What? NOT AGAIN!

A small.... girl? Something appears above the sleeping Crux. About 3 feet tall, slim, and dressed in a faded white kimono, the strange girl has long black hair covering part of her head, particularly her eyes. However, enough is left open to see her mouth and nose, and it isn't a pretty sight. A small mouth, filled with razor-sharp teeth, smiles insidiously at NNY. She giggles slightly, the same giggle from before, although this time with a mad edge of malice in the sound.

>>Chuck blinkblinks, "I TOLD you they got the kids from the Grudge on here! You owe me five bucks."

>>Borg says, "We never bet!"

>>Chuck shrugs, "Never said we did. Now give me five bucks."

>>Borg stares at Chuck, and holds up a five dollar bill. "All right, and I'm collecting on that five bucks you owe me for hitting me with a baseball bat." He then pockets the five once more.

Johnny's eyes twitch and the two daggers are poised and ready again as he leaps towards Caliga with a scream. One dagger is aimied directly for the stranger's face, the other seems to be aimed as his chest. Only the newcomer might notice it, but his shadow on the floor stays put. Infact, it seems like it's widening...

>>Chuck groans, "Ok, finally something happens but something tells me it'll stop long before it starts getting good..."

There is a faint smirk from Caliga, before he suddenly vanishes for a moment, appearing behind the shadow with his glass of wine in hand. A faint whisper suddenly echoes loudly into the Maniac's mind, seemingly saying something out of the ordinary. "I think, I will have to arrest you now. In the name of TASK and the Council, you are hereby ordered to cease your actions, and come along quietly." He moves to the counter, and sets the glass down upon it, ready for round two with Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

>>Borg says, "Look! Look! Did you see the mirrors Chuck? He pulled some David Copperfield shit there."

The odd doll-looking thing peers down at the shadow, looks up at the fighting pair, and laughs in a creepy blend of girlishly and maliciously, clapping hands that are lined with visibly sharp fingernails. She is off to the side, however, and doesn't get in the way.

"If you want to get to the Council, just come with me and I'll get you to them," echos into the Maniac's mind. Caliga seems to grin after this exchange, obviously aware that it may take a bit more convincing on his part to get the Maniac to trust him.

Johnny's form seems to vanish into thin air as well as his body trails off into nothingness. From out of the shadow on the floor a series of barbed hooks and chains come flying out towards Caliga, and probably catching the doll-girl unintentionaly. The weapons are extremely sharp and will slice through ANYTHING until they manage to catch. There is a slight pause however as the additional comment floods into the mind of the maniac, likely enough to force the weapons completly off-target, but the attack soon resumes as if nothing had happened...

>>Chuck laughs, "Someone's been watching too much Hellraiser..."

>>Borg says, "Now all we need is Pinhead and we're set."

>>Chuck grins, "I dunno. With all those low-budge movies he's doing he might cost too much to be in this scene..."

The doll is indeed caught in the maelstrom of chains. However, all that inpale or affix to her melt, and flow into her, leaving her unharmed. Afterwards, she belches softly, the covers her mouth with her hand, saying in a meek tone "Scuse me!". She giggles afterwards, a red glow coming from under her hair, right about where her eyes would be, and her smile goes from unnerving to downright twisted "I'm gonna go kill EEEEEVERYBODY! Teehee!" With that, she vanishes.

>>Chuck sweatdrops, "Wow. Best use of marketing in a scene yet. I'm gonna have to go pick up one of those next time we're at the store..."

Caliga seems to dodge the attack once more, a faint trickle of blood running down his face as the barbed chains strike out at him. He grins as the chains come back towards him once more, this time dodging them completely with grace and style. "You're just making things harder on yourself. If you keep this up, I'll have no choice but to bring you before the council after I capture you." A slight trickle of flames suddenly start to appear in the air around the pretty man. The bar of the UR suddenly catches on fire, quickly spreading and devouring everything in its path.

>>Borg says, "Make sure you get me one too. They seem like a lot of fun."

Johnny leaps out of his shadow, the barrage of chains still seeming to come from the floor, but more sporaticly and random this time. Coming to a halt in the air, Johnny's black body spreads out taking the brief appearence of having wings before the shadows coming off his back launch themselves accross the room and begin turning everything here black. The darkness will even cover the areas beneath the flames despite the fact the fire should still burn above the shadows. Meanwhile, Johnny flexes his fingers infront of him and a double bladed scythe forms, and is twirled as the maniac launches himself towards his opponent again. Spinning as he slashes, he tries to sever the man in two...

>>Chuck shakes his head. "...and the creepy doll vanishes without mention by these guys? After all the attempts to distract themselves? Jeeze, I told you it was nothing but marketing..."

The scythe hits, and Caliga is split right down the middle. The halves of the body fall with a sickening thud to the floor, but there is a green ball of light flying at the very center of the darkness on the floor. Standing in the flames of the bar, Caliga seemingly appears, a frown formed on his face. Upon further inspection, the body Johnny just cleved in half turns out to be the cook from earlier.

>>Borg says, "Gotta love marketing. Hey, why don't we ever do marketing?"

>>Chuck shrugs, "Calfalchonol counts, y'know. And I've sold a few of those damn coffee mugs for the Shrine of Akira..."

>>Borg mutters, "We should totally place an ad in a game."

>>Chuck blinks, "An ad in a game? What the fuck are you going on about now?"

>>Borg says, "Well.. What we can do, is place an ad in a game for the Petting Zoo. No one would ever notice."

>>Borg says, "Subliminal marketing."

>>Chuck groans, "People would have to read these damn things first. I'm not going to waste my breath. People'll just have to watch them off the youtube site like everyone else..."

>>Borg grumbles, "It wouldn't even be that hard. All we would have to do is just say something like 'HEY! Visit http://www.youtube.com/Marr0wProductions today!' and we'd get away with it."

>>Chuck burries his head in his hands, "...and THAT is why your not allowed to touch the website."

Johnny screams in rage as he spins around looking for his lost prey. With the room darkening it makes it rather obvious when Caliga appears in the middle of the room. "FUUUUUCCCK YOU!!!!" One eye seems to grow wide as the other one narrows, "YOU DIIIIIIE NOW, RECTAL-DISCHARGE!!" Flinging his scythe and sending it twirling in the air towards his opponent, Johnny returns to his daggers as he charges forwards again. His body seeming to fade into transparency as he flings black tables and chairs accross the room in his path. As they splinter, the darkness seems to wait before covering the exposed fragments. A new barrage of hooks and chains come falling from the celing and rafters from anywhere possible. The maniac is clearly pissed...

>>Chuck sighs, "I'd be pissed too. His aim sucks."

>>Borg says, "Maybe he should get his eyes checked."

"You're not my type sugerplum." Caliga laughs darkly as he once more goes on the defensive, dodging the hooks and chains once more. The green light suddenly stops right above the center of the darkness, suddenly changing from a ball of light, to an emerald colored crystal. The crystal suddenly moves to where it is touching the darkness, and a strange pulling sensation suddenly comes from it, as it starts trying to absorb all of the darkness.

The darkness around the room indeed pulls towards the crystal making the light in the room seem to bend at disorientating angles. Johnny is uneffected as he continues his assualt. Pursuing Caliga through the maze of his own creation only serves to annoy him further. After all, the plan was to hold him still - not give him room to manuver. Atop the maniac's head a red symbol flashes briefly and Johnny drops to the ground painfully. Looking up he growls, "Fucking coward..." Johnny stabs the floor of the UR with the daggers and soon blood begins to pour up between the floorboards taking the place of the vanishing darkness. Johnny shoves himself off the floor and into the air once again, his body seeming to twist and stretch in the process. This twisted maniac clutches his daggers tightly once more and begins to scream. Skeletons raise up from the blood and turn their heads towards Caliga. Each in turn they all begin to scream along with Nny. Demonic hands begin to crawl up as well, using the undead as ladders. Monsters the likes of which few could even imagine seem to be wrapping themselves around the bones, merging with them, and creating some new horrific forms of life. Leathery wings open from thier backs and razor sharp tallons flex as the creations begin to converge on Caliga's location. Johnny watches amused taking it all in, but an unexpected look of pain soon drops him to the floor with a splash. As he kneels and holds himself he looks on as if expecting something to happen...

>>Chuck shakes his head, "Well, the blood is a good start but why would someone who can't stand bodily fluids be producing more with whatever the fuck power he has? Isn't that a bit of a contradiction?"

>>Borg says, "I think the writers forgot that."

>>Chuck laughs, "I think the writers are watching something better in the next room and ripping off the ideas."

>>Borg says, "Isn't that how Hollywood works?"

>>Chuck nods, "Yeah, but Hollywood would have done a better job with worse actors. These guys aren't bad. Their just a bit stupid."

>>Chuck grins, "Wait a minute! That's not blood! It's Kool-aid!"

>>Borg says, "It explains SO much."

>>Chuck nods, "Yeah. It means the Kool-aid man was behind the wall in his house. I guess it wasn't a moose afterall."

>>Chuck chuckles, "I gotta keep the wall wet! *SMASH* OOOOH-YEAH! Damn, that woulda driven me crazy too."

"In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord.. We commend to him our brother.." There is a sudden pluse from Caliga as he's struck by the tallons, a foul black ichor suddenly splashing with a sick splash into the blood covering the floor of the resturant. However, the voice continues as the creatures suddenly disintergrate into ash. "And we commit his body to the ground.." The ground suddenly starts to violently shake, strange pillars rising from the ground around Caliga and Johnny. "Earth to earth.. Ashes to ashes.. Dust to dust.." The pillars suddenly start to pulse alongside Caliga, a faint black glow coming from each pillar.

>>Borg just blinks. "Ooookay.. This is getting a tad bit creepy."

>>Chuck shrugs, "I dunno... I think my guess about Seventh Heaven was right. Next they'll start singing hyms and reading from the bible... Either that or this guy's trying to be Anderson."

Johnny growls as his shadows return to nothingness. His body seems to fade into transparency a little more with each one. The twin daggers drop to the floor as his hands collapse to hold him up. Straining he tries to hold himself together, the illusions in the room all fading and vanishing leaving the smashed interior of the UR and Caliga's pillars behind. As Johnny's form seems to restore slightly, he grabs his daggers and begins smashing into the floor over and over again as if searching for simple distruction of any kind. With each strike he solidifies more... strange...

"The lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face shine upon him and be gracious unto him and give him peace." The pillars suddenly stop pulsing, and glow a bright white. Caliga slowly moves towards Johnny. "Rest, and be peaceful. There is no more need to fight it." Almost angelic in appearance, he holds his right hand out Johnny, and speaks with the not just one voice, but hundreds, all of which seem to resonate in the same way. "Come. You have no more need to fight it. I will give you peace and order.."

>>Borg says, "That is a very cool trick. I need to know how he does it, cause man oh man would that rock at a party."

>>Chuck sighs, "I thought it was stupid. This scene needs more violence. Someone had better die before this is over..."

>>Borg says, "Hey! Someone did! Sing Lo died!"

>>Chuck blinks, "Isn't that a sweetener? Shouldn't we be pouring that in our coffee?"

Johnny looks up and growls deeper and darker than even these nightmares of his would seem to allow. "FUCK YOUR PEACE AND ORDER!!" Pushing himself up he readies his daggers again and glares. "I've lived longer than you can imagine. I've made pacts with demons and have been used as pawns for goddesses. I've seen the lazy god you worship, and I've discussed fashon tips with Senior Satan... I've been mistaken for a God, and I've slaughtered thousands. DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING RELAX!!!" Somehow Johnny's rant seems to be strengthening him as his body grows darker still until it seems to become as dark as the void. Twirling his daggers he stabs his own legs and screams in pain. The darkness covering his body flickers violently for a moment until he rips the wepons out sending black blood spraying accross the floor. He points one of the blades into Caliga's face. His voice normal now he scowls, "YOU WANT PEACE AND ORDER, START WITH KILLING THOSE FUCKERS IN CHARGE OF THIS WORLD!! NO ONE, NOT YOU, NOT ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T DO! I'll fight until this festering HELL HOLE really does become free of their BULLSHIT!! The only reason people haven't died yet is because I've been lying to myself for far too long..."

Caliga grins. "That is why, you should come with me." The pillars seemingly fade, as Caliga stands there with his hand still extended to Johnny. "You want freedom? You want things to improve, then come with me, and you shall have them. Chaos festers here, and it needs to be stamped out. Why do you continue to fight, when not once have I tried to attack you? All I have done, is try to get you to be rational." He looks down at his wounds, and frowns slightly. "I even allowed you to hurt me." He continues to frown. "You fail to realize, without some sense of order, even by removing The Council, things would decay more rapidly. I give you this. A chance to change things for the better, not only for yourself, but those around you."

>>Chuck groans, "It's a fucking after school special..."

>>Borg reaches into his pocket and hands Chuck the five.

>>Chuck pockets it happily. "Told ya so."

>>Borg grumbles. "Well. Damn. Now all we need is James Earl Jones and this is set."

>>Chuck screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Johnny's eyes twitch again, his anger doesn't seem to disapate. Deeply he growls again, "You.... you called me WACKY!" His entire body shudders violently as he says it. Disgust washes over his features, "You want to give me this bullshit about not attacking and YOU CALLED ME FUCKING WACKY!?!?!?" Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand he shakes his head and scowls more. "...I asked you to take it back..." Twirling his daggers once he readies them towards Caliga's throat. "No one calls me that and lives..."

>>Chuck sighs, "So wait that's his secret origins? Someone called him Wacky? That's about retarded..."

>>Chuck jabs the Intern in the ribs. "What about you? Would it piss you off if I called you Wacky?" The Intern slumps out of his chair and lands on the floor, blood oozing out of his mouth. Chuck raises an eyebrow, "Damn. I knew this shit was boring, but that's taking it to a new extreme." He glances at Borg, "Found a new way to kill people!"

"Well, technically, you've already killed me three times now. Shouldn't that make us a bit even?" Caliga seems to smirk at this. "And I will take it back, you are far from 'wacky'." The bar continues to burn, yet the glass of wine is just fine as he moves over to it, and picks it up out of the flames. He moves back towards Johnny, and takes a sip from the glass.

>>Borg says, "Our fans will never forgive us if we use that."

>>Chuck nods, "Ok, so what if we force someone to listen to Banana phone on an endless loop?"

>>Borg says, "I'd never forgive you for that."

>>Chuck cackles, "Then it's decided!"

The second 'wacky' is taken back, Johnny relaxes and resheaths his daggers. He watches Caliga walk towards the bar and crosses his arms. With a deep breath his skin begins to revert to normal. "Alright then. So what next? What's this bullshit about coming with you?" He eyes the flames carefully wondering just why that damn bar never seems to get damaged no matter what happens to it. "If you've actually decieved yourself into thinking you could make things better, I'd like to hear it. Should be good for a laugh..."

"It's simple. You want to rid Twisted of the council, and as I am a member of TASK, I can take you before them." Caliga takes a long sip from the glass, and a small red trickle of wine suddenly starts to appear on the floor beneath him, obviously leaking out of one of the many holes in his body at the moment. "Things would be better, if a new system were in place. One that looked out for the well being of those who are here, instead of allowing them to suffer. I heard a story about a small child here just the other night who was accousted in this very resturant.."

The mentioning of a small boy immediatly sets Johnny over the edge again, "WHAT???? KIDS SHOULDN'T BE FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!!" He draws his daggers again instinctivly. "If a kid can't be allowed to grow up and choose it's innocence, then these fuckers HAVE TO FUCKING PAY!" Johnny shakes his head as he growls, "If you can get me to these fucking bastards, I'll do it myself. I can fucking take magic just as easily as I can the shit people feed off into the ether." Johnny's form shimmers black briefly letting his eyes grow blood red in the process. "Let's do it. ...but no tricks. I really don't think anyone, even you, could actually trap me somewhere anymore. Worst case scenerio I'll be back on Chronos... Fuck it. Let's do it."

>>Chuck grins, "Ok. I feel better about him now."

"Then allow me to introduce myself. I am Caliga Satanas. I'm far too old to play the tricking game." Caliga gives a slight bow towards Johnny and motions towards the doors. "Let us discuss how to proceed further then elsewhere."

Johnny nods, "Johnny C. Friends call me Nny." He wastes no time following Caliga curious to hear what his plans are after all this...

>>Chuck groans, "That was a stupid ending. This guy really is wacky..."

Leaping out of the shadows Johnny holds one of his daggers up to Chuck's throat. "ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH, ASSHOLES!! I told you no one calls me 'wacky' and lives..."

>>Chuck sweatdrops, "Alright, alright, I'm sorry...."

Johnny laughs, "Nope. Sorry. The people voted for more deaths in this scene, remember?" With a quick slash Chuck's neck is cut open and his body is dropped to the floor. Johnny turns to Borg with a raised eyebrow, "You looking to die a second time??"

>>Borg grins as he tries not to laugh. "Seriously though, whats your deal with wacky?'"

Johnny screams and launches towards Borg, sending a spray of blood into the air. Unfortunitly, Borg suffers more out of the two because, after all... it's more fun to torture the undead...



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