| Experiment 001 | ||
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| Summary: You know what we need on Twisted? A weapons shop! Then we could explain all the weird stuff people are running around with! Hmm... but what could we call it? And who would run it? Oh! THAT'S AN IDEA! Who: desiree, excel, hyatt, luffy When: December 27th, 2007 Where: ACROSS Center for Munitions and Explosives(#3873R)    |
A.C.M.E.? The name of the shop isn't the only thing suspicious about this place. Every type of weapon you can think of decorates it's badly built walls. Infact, part of the theme here is that if they don't have it on display, it's in the back. Most of what is on display is bladed weapons, some magical, some not. A keen eye will notice many of them are cheap knock-offs of each other, but then why would you put the good stuff where the public can touch it? Also, for some odd reason there's a large amount of costumes on display apparently done in the style of various people on Twisted. Even a Gegoshi costume? So weird... Excel is hammering the boards onto the walls of the baddly built shop. Somehow, such a poor shop has some really expensive equipment. Oh well. As Excel hammers in the last nail an entire shelf of guns falls atop her, showering her and pinning her to the floor. There's a pathetic scream of pain/surprise and then a paper-thin Excel pulls itself out painfully and somehow resumes her shape before shaking her fist at the clutter. "No! No! How dare you get in the way of the mighty Lord Ilpalazzo! Excel must complete my tasks before Lord Ilpalazzo comes to this city of misguided citizens!" She hugs herself and rocks back and forth on her heels. "Oh, Lord Ilpalazzo! Excel will win your praise and you shall take her and pat her on the head and then Excel will find a way to win your heart and we'll live happily together looking over this city as ACROSS forces it into the shape of it's true destiny under the leadership of Ilpalazzo! HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!" Excel is hammering the boards onto the walls of the baddly built shop. Somehow, such a poor shop has some really expensive equipment. Oh well. As Excel hammers in the last nail an entire shelf of guns falls atop her, showering her and pinning her to the floor. There's a pathetic scream of pain/surprise and then a paper-thin Excel pulls itself out painfully and somehow resumes her shape before shaking her fist at the clutter. "No! No! How dare you get in the way of the mighty Lord Ilpalazzo! Excel must complete my tasks before Lord Ilpalazzo comes to this city of misguided citizens!" She hugs herself and rocks back and forth on her heels. "Oh, Lord Ilpalazzo! Excel will win your praise and you shall take her and pat her on the head and then Excel will find a way to win your heart and we'll live happily together looking over this city as ACROSS forces it into the shape of it's true destiny under the leadership of Ilpalazzo! HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!" Hyatt walks in from her room to see what all the noise was. A small dripping of blood flows down her mouth as she had spent the better part of the last three days dead, only to come alive again... a large gold ring-shaped fixture comes off its hinges and lands on Hyatts head... Jesus? Peering at the weapon shop that has sprung up almost overnight, she blinks... "Did somebody drop a store on us, Excel Sempai?" cough cough Excel nearly leaps out of her skin at the sound of Hyatt's voice. Of course, she should be used to this sort of thing by now but it has been a few days. "Hatchan!! No, Excel built this store! Isn't it great? Surely Lord Ilpalazzo will be pleased with Excel's hard work! Yes! Excel built it with her own two hands from the ground up using all the stuff I found in the sewers after we got here! There's a whole buncha stuff down there that ACROSS must WANT us to sell to bring money and wealth and fame to Lord Ilpalazzo and us too! Yes! HAIL ILPALAZZO!!" Hyatt smiles at Excel, and raises a hand, responding with a whispering "..zzo." Looking at the fallen pile of weapons she tilts her head. "Is it wise to put weapons in the hands of the ignorant masses, Excel Sempai? Wont that make them more dangerous than they already are?" she questions the project of selling weapons, but would still do as Excel asks, regardless of any good answer. Excel simply smiles and solutes the air. "HAI!!! Dangerous? They're more dangerous to themselves than to us! Just think, if they have weapons they'll use them... ON EACH OTHER! Then Excel and Hatchan can sit back and watch the show! Yes! It will be a great and glorious show in for the honor of Lord Ilpalazzo! Then we'll get praised and there will be cake! Or we will get baked and there will be cake. Either way there will be cake and Excel will live happily ever after with Lord Ilpalazzo! EEEEEEE!" And off she goes into some fantasy world of her own. The hearts in her eyes and the glazed expression seem to signify it's a good one. "Oh, Ilpalazzo... for you I would do anything.... Yes, Excel WOULD like to have some of that candy." Ugh. And the first customer makes her appearance! Ah, one would say literally, but alas, Desiree is not that dumb. The door idly swings open, dangerously dangling from it's hinges. The dark-haired French woman takes a last drag from her cigarette, tossing it behind her as she steps into the ramshackle shop. Her blue-green eyes search the room as she blows the smoke, almost deliberately, into the shop. However, as Excel goes into her long-winded rant, Desiree shakes her head a bit. "Y a-t-il aucuns haut-parleurs francais en cette ville? Seulement anglophones idiots?" She speaks in her native tongue as she steps further into the shop, choosing to tastefully ignore the inhabitants, in favor of peering over the selection of weapons. If she's going to be hunted here, she might as well get herself a damn arsenal... "Food....." The sound of a body being dragged across the ground suddenly fills the weapons shop, as a young boy wearing a red vest, straw hat, and blue jean shorts drags himself into the building. "Foooooooooooood..." The boy lifts his head and stares at the occupants, a long trail of drool dripping from the right corner of his mouth. Luffy then rolls onto his back, and stares at the ceiling, almost as if he were waiting for Death to come and take him away to heaven, or at least an all you can eat buffet. "FOOOOOOOOD....." Hyatt nods to the customer in the front, not pointing, but angling her gaze to direct Excel. "It seems we have out first member of the ignorant masses, Excel Sempai." she answers in her usually breathy voice. She coughs several more times before approaching Desiree, as if trying to help her until...The sight of Luffy... is frightening! She coughs again, spitting up blood in Desiree's direction, before falling forward to die, hitting the floor if not blocked by anything (or any one) Excel snaps out of her daze at Hyatt's comment, despite the fact she turns to Desiree and responds with "Votre mere est un chien brun. Puis-je lait votre chat sil vous plait? Quelle saveur canape pensez-vous?" She blinks and shakes her head, "Oh, I'm sorry. Welcome to the ACROSS Center for Munitions and Explosives!! Excel's name is Excel, also Excel, and on behalf of the ideological organization ACROSS Excel and Hatchan welcome you and hope you spend lots and lots of your money so we may build a better tomorow while helping you destroy a piece of it today!" Wow! What a sales pitch! "Can we help you with something?" For some reason, the Desiree's form flickers, and the blood splatters upon the ground, a few inches short of landing on the French girl. "Degout." She blinks over at Excel, arching a brow. "Votre Francais est pauvre au mieux. Merci de votre tentative pathetique de m'insulter, cependant. Vous petit enfant insolent de porc." She rolls her eyes a bit, running a hand through her hair. Luffy...is ignored. In a heavy french accent, she speaks English. "I am looking for an arsenal with which I can defend myself. I will look on my own, and tell you eef I need anything." Luffy suddenly sits up, and turns his gaze to Hyatt, who lays on the ground dead. He blinks a few times before hopping to his feet, completely forgetting the fact he was hungry. "Oi!" He reaches down, and shakes the poor woman a few times, before lifting her up, and shaking her back and forth a few times. "OI!" The boy yells loudly, his voice echoing out in the enclosed space a lot more then it should. Hyatt looks fairly dead. Blood dripping freely from her mouth, her eyes are wide open, staring blankly into space, her skin cold and her color is pale. She seems to be really dead. Her body slumps in Luffy's arms, lifeless and limp. Excel doesn't miss a beat with her bad responses. Maybe she really isn't aware of what she's saying? "Mais j'aime le porc! Il est bon et savoureux! Parfois, j'aimerais pouvoir manger de porc, mais qu'elles ont a regler avec le chien. Oh, menchi ... Ou pourrais-tu etre jamais?" She suddenly bows as if having missed everything that just happened. "HAI! Right! I, Excel, will be happy to make anything you need become available to you if you should happen to request it, because if you should request it I shall be obligated to help you and then I shall have no choice but to help you. Yes! Because Excel wishes nothing else but to help you in your quest! There's nothing Excel can not get for you so be sure to not to ask for something we don't have, because we have everything! Merci et bonne toilette!" She pauses to glance at Hyatt and Luffy finally, "Oi? Hey.... she'll be ok in a minute. Don't eat her." Desiree rolls her eyes. "Une tentative si faible de belle langue de la France." She shakes her head a bit, and returns her attention to the weapons. "Thank you, madamoiselle. Please, leave me alone now so I may shop." She shakes her head, running a hand through her hair once more. Luffy and Hyatt...are still ignored. Damn cocky french and their disrespect for anything NOT French... A visable glimmer of dissapointment appears in Luffy's eyes as Excel says to not eat poor Hyatt... Wait, he wasn't planning on doing that, was he? He stands up, still holding Hyatt in his hands, before letting the poor woman fall to the ground. "Hey.. That sounds like what Sanji's sayin' when he's either cooking or kicking things...." He turns and stares at Desiree for a moment, before zipping up next to her. "Hey! Hey! You're a cook like Sanji too?! Make me some food!" Hyatt lays on the ground limp... before finally standing up, wiping her mouth clean with a rag, seemingly coming back to life as if nothing bad had ever happened. Walking over to Excel. "It doesnt seem as though there will be much sleep for us today... business is already booming! Quite a success, Sempai!" Excel shakes her fist in the sky in victory. "HAI!!!! Excel wird jedes Hindernis uberwinden! EXCEL YAY! Nun, wenn wir nur sprechen lernen in der richtigen Sprache Track so unser Publikum weiB, wovon wir reden!" She pauses to smack herself in the head again. "Sorry, Excel is hungry and her stomach is as empty as the vast expanse of land which lies between the great plains of the mighty northlands and the seas of the glorious southlands in her own mind! We need to sell something and buy food!" She turns to Luffy and screams, "HEY! YOU! Buy SOMETHING before we trouwen met uw hond en kat bij deze rare vrouw voet fetish!!" Wait? What? You page, "Excel will overcome every obstacle! EXCEL YAY! Now, if we can only learn to speak in the language right track as our audience will know what we are talking about! ... Buy something before we marry your dog and cat to this rare woman foot fetish!" to Hyatt. "OI!" A large vein suddenly appears on Luffy's forehead. "DID YOU JUST CALL MAKE FUN OF ME?!" He glares at Desiree, before cocking his right arm back, the fist suddenly stretching a good six feet behind him. "GOMU GOMU NO...." The arm is suddenly brought forward, the fist flying forward like a bullet firing from the barrel of a gun, "PISTOL!" The fists hurtles towards Desiree's face, but a loud rumble in Luffy's stomach causes the fist to go off course, and into the wall behind her, smashing the items on display into little pieces.. "Food....." Hyatt watches the fist go through the wall, crumbling the display, looking at Luffy, then at Excel. "We are off to a bad start, Sempai... but you know the old saying... no such thing as bad press." she nods nods, walking over to try and pick up the display... trying to lift the wood before coughing again and falling down dead. Excel sobs at the loss of her hard work. Wow, she seems speachless a moment! Is this a miracle, or the calm before the storm? There's a long pause before she bends her arm unaturally and holds it over her head. "Three days of working hungry and tired and now Excel has to start over again without our emergency food supply to save us. ...there was a wall here. Now there is none. No rest for the wicked. ~Excel." She collapses to her knees and sobs. "See these tears? They flow freely like waterfalls. Even here Pedro will be missed..." Ok, she's reading a diffrent script than everyone else here or something... However, this is enough for the French woman to be put on guard. As Luffy's fist arcs forward, Desiree is suddenly gone, the effect similar to bad special effects where a person is being filmed, the camera is shut off, and said person walks off before filming is resumed. She reappears, sheathed sword in hand, right behind Luffy. However, the sword is now arcing down towards the back of the boy's head, and the french girl's eyes are narrowed dangerously... The boy quickly moves to the side, as a spray of blood suddenly flies out of his left shoulder, the sword cleanly piercing through his skin and digging into the bone. A loud yell of pain suddenly escapes the boy's mouth, as he goes still for a few moments. He growls softly for a moment, as his skin suddenly starts to get rather pink. "I only wanted some food, then you made fun of me, and then stabbed me... Now I'm pissed... Gear..." Steam starts to pour freely off his body, almost as if his blood were litterly boiling inside his body. "Second." His feet suddenly lift off the ground, and he vanishes, leaving the sword in the air dripping with his blood.... Just where did he go? The woman arches a brow as the steam begins to pour off of Luffy's body, shaking her head. Then, as the boy lifts off of the ground, Desiree swings the sword up, resting it gently upon her shoulder. She dissapears, reappearing briefly beside the cash register and depositing the proper amount of money, plus an extra $50 or so. Then...she's gone, nowhere to be found. Hyatt lays dead for a moment before waking up to the sight of Luffy spraying blood everywhere... and coughs and dies again x_x Excel glances slightly around the room at the chaos and sweatdrops heavily as everyone seems to vanish suddenly into thin air. Slowly she turns her head, Exercist-like at Hyatt. "...Hatchan?" She's dead of course. Typical. "Maybe we should have stayed in Fukuoka, Fukuoka... it might have blown up every other day, but at least when we planned something it failed because of Excel and not because of everyone else..." She turns her head back as another piece of the wall falls and facefaults herself onto the floor. "...Excel hopes Lord Ilpalazzo takes his time..."
"Opening Shop" Today's Experiment............. FAILED! | |
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