2009-05-31 (PreU) Cal and NNY's Bogus Journey pt 2

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Cal and NNY's Bogus Journey pt 2

Summary: Bad enough last time we saw the first IC appearance of Xipe Totec, this time around we had to top ourselves. Why? MARKETING!

...I can't really explain what I mean by that, pay no attention. Continued from last time, Caliga and Johnny make their way to the Council chambers just in time to interupt the introduction of Kasumi Tendo's temporary addition to the Hell Council!

Yeah, that's a WTF moment for most of us too.



Who: Alessa, Caliga, Hal, Johnny_C, Kasumi, Senior_Diablo
When: May 31st, 2009
Where: Hell


Alessa-icon.gifCaliga-icon.gifHal-icon.gifJohnny C-icon.gifKasumi-icon.gifSenior Diablo-icon.gif

The information contained within this log is to be considered information gained Out of Character (OOC).
This information may not be used as In Character (IC) knowledge or in roleplay unless it has been learned in-game or permission has been granted by the parties involved.

Questions should be directed to staff.


The Citadel of Evil - Hellgate Entrance(#2738R)

Here, towering hundreds of thousands of miles above the Skies of Hell's barren planes is the citadel of evil... where Hell's council sits. The many beings of billions of Abyssal planes gather here, the strongest of the strong (or simply the most conniving) to plot the domination of Twisted's worlds and planes. It is a conference of evil, a twisted representation of the Council that sits here.

Upon exiting the Hellgate you are standing on a flat slab of black riveted marble that screams when you walk upon it. Statues surround the hellgate depicting beings that were likely past council members. These statues stretch outwards and up with a twisted and sometimes spiralling of stairs that ends in a massive archway that denotes the entrance to the citadel of evil.

The Hellgate is not the only gate here at the bottom of the stairs, but it is the most promenant and the only one accessable to those not part of Hell's council. They are chained by abyssal magics, with screaming locks shaped with the faces of those sacrificed to forge them.


The Hellgate is torn open. Within seconds a flying maniac is sent hurdling through the air, crashing head first against the steps leading up to the Citadel. The goggles worn on his head make it look even more like a bad joke than anything. Johnny weakly scrambles to his feet and growls as he rubs the side of his head. His recently aquired Great Knife, stolen from Pyramid Heads themselves, is now buried into the concrete steps at least a foot and a half of it's seven foot length. Tugging and yanking at it, the maniac screams profanities in his head towards Caliga as he waits for his companion to join him.

A sadistic grin crosses Caliga's face as he lands softly on the ground, adjusting the sunglasses on his face. "You gotta work on your landing. Form was great, execution flawless.. But your landing? It sucked." He moves to stand next to NNy, placing his left hand on the hilt of the great sword. He gives a slight tug on the sword, easily pulling it free from its earthly sheath for the maniac. "See? Teamwork. Who says that only one man can pull a sword from the stone?" He starts laughing loudly, moving up the stairs of the citadel. "Well come on. Lets not keep them waitin'."

Johnny stares a moment, well... glares a moment, as he ponders using said unsheathed weapon upon he who is full of jest, but opts to wait until this is all said and done first. Looking up at the impressive spire overhead he follows slowly, dragging the too-large weapon along with him. "...it's no wonder those guys are so damn hard to kill. They got strong from hefting these damn things around all the time." He grumbles some more, bits about wanting to see one kill Caliga and such under his breath. Nothing unexpected.


The Citadel of Evil - Courtyard(#3172R)

A monsterous looking courtyard of epic scale stretches out, littered with half destroyed but towering 100 foot statues of demonic figures and long dead kings. Many of which have been partially destroyed either by battle or through the irreverence of Hell's denizens towards the truly ascendent of chaos. But then, would you expect any less?

While there is a roof and walls to the citadel courtyard, they are simply too far away to be considered anything else but a sky and some sort of distant walls. The area is massive to accomodate the size of demons that may move through here.

The landscape is littered with a few oddities, such as boiling pits that the undying innocent' are dipped into and the screams echo quite well in the vast espanse. Other acts of torture (or amusement, on your state of mind) are also being enacted here as well as dark ceremonies. It's quite normal to see this sort of thing in hell that it's almost background noise.


"Well, I'm pretty sure its because of their master.. but well, we won't really get into the logistics of their biological superiority compared to you..." Caliga comes to a stop, removing the sunglasses from his face, only to set them in his left jacket pocket. He lets the cigarette in his mouth drop down to the ground, his right foot deftly stomping it out. "But they do blow up pretty good. Just like the nurses too."

Johnny makes it to the top of the stairs panting slightly. That burrito must have calmed him down too much, this thing wasn't this heavy a minute ago. Johnny eyes the spire before them and sighs. "Great. No door." He ponders a moment further and glances down at this Great Knife he's been hefting around. A smile slowly passes over his face. With a scream of rage this currently black-bodied maniac in bloody rags lifts the weapon, angling it at the building and runs at it at full speed. As expected the blade of the Great Knife cuts into it with ease. It takes Johnny a bit of effort to lift it but it cuts a hole in the side of the spire quite nicely. "So... after you?" He's not stupid. Caliga can deal with the first strike once they realise what they've done.


Council of Hell- Convening Chambers(#3169R)

Now where are you now? This place is unlike anywhere else in the abyss...

Blackness stretches out almost infinitely surrounding you, broken by the light of hundreds of glowing blood-red runes etched into pillars dotting the expanse. The pillars provide the only light but hardly do that. Overall, the lighting is exceedingly dim.

In the center of the expanse, a massive ancient slab forms a table with many ornate thrones for all of hell's leaders to sit. It is a remenant of some ancient artifact beyond imagining, something that resided perhaps within the original hell. For now, however, the blasphemous and ignorant use it to rest their feet upon as it radiates unimaginable power.

As the chambers reside partially within the plane of nightmares, sometimes things creep beyond in the shadows. Eyes sometimes appear. It makes a comfortable ambiance for the evil beings that dwell here.

If one were to run beyond this place, they would run infinitely into the black as the plane stretches forever. There are, however, doors that lead to other places surrounding the table. Each etched with individual runes again.


"Why thank you." Caliga grins even more, allowing the taint he received from the maniac to seep through. "KNOCK KNOCK!" He reaches into his jacket, and pulls out a pair of blue goggles with bright red lenses. He nimbly pulls the goggles over his face, stepping into the hole that Johnny has made. He manages to peer around the council chamber, before a large green wall appears before him.

"You have a lot of guts to decide to just waltz in here like you own the place.." Hal Jordan floats high in the air of the council chambers, his right hand extended forward as beam of green energy flows from a ring on his right hand, powering the wall that appeared before Caliga and Johnny. "We're in the middle of accquainting ourselves with the temporary replacement for Emi.. So you had better be ready to accept your punishment.."

At the sound of the Great Knive severing the wall, Alessa looks up and mearly arches an eyebrow. Instantly, half a cohort of Pyramid Heads appear around the hole, on the other side of where Hal's wall will be. The PH's don't bother waiting, they shift and change, straitening and hulking out as it were. "Caliga. You naughty naughty monkey." She doesn't seem to intend on letting the Ph's back down. "The door still works fine, you know."

a soft melodic voice wafts across teh room "Oh my, I wonder if this is the right place"

Kasumi is standing in an area of the room, looking very demure, and with that ever-present aura of just.....well...her around her, a small stuffed panda bear on one shoudler as she looks around, not looking disturbed or afraid at all, and somehow not looking out of place in this corner of the dark realms.

Senior Diablo shakes his head at the events playing out around him. He sits at the Council table sipping something red in a fancy gobblet and mearly raises an eyebrow as chaos ensues. "Johnny... Caliga... welcome to our Council Chambers." He glances briefly at Alessa and leans towards her, "...you do know we don't have a door, correct?" His attention is stolen as yet another arrives in the room. His blank expression twists into a smile as he sees their guest of honor, "Ahhh, Kasumi welcome. We have a slight... snag in our problems. Please be a dear and be patient while we deal with these two clearly confused individuals." Standing up from his seat, the elderly demon shakes his head slowly as he tries to choose the right words, "...what in the Hells are you two doing?"

Johnny sweatdrops, heavily. Green light, Pyramid Heads, weird... things at the table. His eyes lock onto Diablo, "YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!" He picks up his stolen Great Knife and aims it Diablo effortlessly. Clearly that rage of his is back in full force again. "YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME YOU CHEAP ASS EXCUSE FOR A FUCKING EVIL WHOREMONGER! YOU FUCKING KNEW I WASN'T FUCKING DEAD! GODDAMN IT!!!" Well, that's as close as anyone's going to get in the way of a hello from him. Oddly enough as his eyes twitch upon noticing Kasumi, his weapon seems to gain a little more weight and the maniac strains to continue to hold it. Maybe he's just distracted?

"Oh come on kiddo," Caliga grins at the girl behind the green wall and rotting flesh assemble, "It just wouldn't be fun if it wasn't made flashy." He starts laughing loudly as his gaze shifts over to Kasumi. "Oh, you've got a cutey with 'ya now. I can dig that." As Johnny rants and raves, he tries to stiffle a laugh. "Call off the guards Diablo. You knew I'd come for the maniac. That one is a given. I know you know because he knows you'd know. If that makes sense." He steps forward, and places a hand on the wall that Hal is projecting. A mere moment passes before his hand moves right through it. He pulls the hand back and grins at the Lantern. "I've already got your frequency. So you're pretty much useless."

A deep scowl comes from Hal as he watches the man simply put his hand through the wall. The wall vanishes, leaving only the Pyramid Head army standing between the two and the rest of the council. "So it seems..." He turns his gaze towards Kasumi, nodding his head towards her. "We'll have them delt with shortly, and then we can continue on with our discussions.."

Alessa hmpfs and goes back to what she was doing. A tea-party. Yeah, that's right. "It's a portal, some call it a door to otherworlds, it counts." The rest of the cohort appaers, the count coming to a grand 1000 minons. "What would you like to do, Mr. Devil? Give him the maniac, or pin them here against my forces?" She's leaving the choice up to Diablo, but the PH's seem edgey and eager to get on with it. They'll not attack however without their Goddess command, but if they had half a mind between them, they'd attack anyway.

Kasumi just nods her head and tilts her head and waits patiently and looks to the Panda on her shoudler "no, I don't think they are bad Mr Panda" as she polietly waits, waving happily to some tortured souls as they pass by.

Senior Diablo smiles at Alessa's words, "No... no, Goddess Alessa, there's no need for that." He glances about the table carefuly, sizing everyone up. Briefly he thanks the absence of Herr Major, he would have had his minions right there with Alessa's making things worse. Now, who's the bigger threat? Caliga or the knife weilding maniac? "Caliga, I don't care if you take him. I laid no claims to him. I mearly gave him a place where he belongs, something you assisted with quite nicely. Tell me, Johnny C, did your friend here tell you-!"

Johnny cuts him off, no not literally, by plunging across the room bringing the blade's tip up to Diablo's throat. "HE TOLD ME ENOUGH! HE TOLD ME YOU KILLED HIM!"

Diablo smirks, "Then there's something I must reveal then..."

A quiet hush falls over the table. Johnny shakes off the illusion Senior Diablo's cast by screaming once more and bringing his weapon down into the top of the table. Somehow, it doesn't damage it. "QUIT THAT!"

Senior Diablo smiles, "What? No sense of humor? Maybe you havn't grown at all since I spoke to you last. Hal? Show our guests outside. We can deal with them later..."

"Not just yet trannie-devil. I made the treck across hell, on foot. So I'll make it quick. I'll be coming back down here to kill an annoyance in both the afterlife and the living realm. She's making my job a bitch because she keeps heading to a world that technically is off limits to TASK, nevermind the fact I told Connie I'd be coming here anyways... Look. I'll be making a return trip in the very near future. Maybe bring along a couple of friends. Make it an outing. Other then that.." He shrugs his shoulders and vanishes, suddenly appearing next to Johnny on the table, his left hand on the maniacs right shoulder. "Johnny, make sure you bring your new toy along with us. I really don't want to pick it up for you on my next trip here..."

As Caliga decides to move about freely, this is when Hal decides he's had enough. With a simple snap of his fingers, the room starts to echo with the sounds of clanking chains. Hooks slowly start to decend down from the ceiling as shuffling can be heard from within the shadows of the Hell council chambers. "I believe, you should come along quietly, before I am forced to call upon the guardian of this realm..."

"Who? Pinhead? Pretty cool dude. Already meet him. He even gave me this!" Caliga reaches into his right jacket pocket and pulls out a lament configuration, which suddenly starts to move on its own. "Anyways. Just figured I'd let you know." He takes a deep breath, and in a thick austrian accent, he looks directly at Senior Diablo. "I'll be back."

Alessa says, "Idiot. "Oh dolly you want some tea! YAY! The PH's pop out of existance, much in the same way they arrived but leave behind them a foul oder. "You never let me have any fun Diablo. Quit being a stick in the mud." Murr.

Kasumi just watches, and sees the hooks "oh my, you must do a lot of fishing" she says with an obliviousness that is either off the charts, or belying of some great schemeing mind.

Senior Diablo looks taken back by Alessa's words, "Never have any fun...? Who was it that brought that busload of cheerleaders to you last week? I could have saved them for anyone but I thought-!"

Johnny cuts him off once again, "DAMNIT!! WOULD YOU COCKSUCKERS QUIT FUCKING IGNORING ME!?!!?" His rage burns from his blackened form as he pushes himself off the floor to float and point his weapon at Diablo once more. "It's all just some big fucking joke to you all isn't it? You don't fucking care about the lives your supposed to be dealing with! You don't care about anyone or anything but your own selfish, self-centered views of your own stupid worlds! How fucking BLIND CAN YOU BE?!? Youre just like Twisted's Council. Bunch of stuck up idiots spending too much fucking time with thier heads up their own ass-!"

Johnny is cut off this time as Diablo decides he's had enough. The shadows in the room lurch violently as he reaches up towards the ranting maniac. The shadows themselves become a living extention of his arm and wrap around the maniac's throat, dragging him down into Senior Diablo's hand, "I have my reasons for the things which I must do. DO NOT COME INTO MY REALM AND DESECRATE THIS PLACE WITH YOUR LIMITED VIEWS OF THE WORLDS AROUND YOU!" He throws Johnny at Caliga hard enough to possibly knock both of them back through the doorway they've cut into the Spire. "If you DARE compare us to Twisted's Council again, I'll show you suffering you can't even imagine... GO NOW while I'm still feeling sympathetic." As the Devil turns to reclaim his seat he sends a glance at Alessa, "Feel free to have your minions escort them. We're done with this meeting..."

"Oh?" This is unexpected for Caliga, to actually be knocked backwards. His right hand grips the lament configuration tightly, as he manipulates his body to stop right inside the hole, with the maniac precariously held up infront of him. "Listen up horn boy.. I'm pretty sure that if your 'guardian' was a bit more foreward, then I could figure out who his true master is, which the way you're behaving, kind of makes me really think it isn't you. Now." He suddenly vanishes, and reappears back on the table once again, his left hand gripping the handle of Johnny's great knife. "I'm doing you a favor. So keep your anger in check. We were leavin' anyways. Asshole." He easily lifts the blade up over his shoulder, and walks across the council chambers, moving back to where he left the maniac. "Here." The lament configuration finishes moving, as a portal suddenly appears on the otherside of the entrance Johnny made for the council. And he didn't even charge them for the remodeling.

Alessa grins impishly underneth her hair, and the minons appear again, closing in on the pair, a small walk way between them and the exit. They flex and grow, attaining their 8 foot height, great knives twitching in their hands.

Kasumi is standing somehow now next to one of these 8 foot minions, looking up "Pardon me, but that knife, do you where I could get one for my kitchen? It looks like it woufl make easy work out of peeling potatoes" she asks in a calming voice.

Johnny takes his stolen Great Knife as it's tossed to him and stands trying to grasp what's just happened to him. That was something totally new for him after all. He screams back at Diablo once again, "Y'know what?!? I STILL DON'T FIND YOU SCARY!!" With that he looks at the Pyramid Heads, sweatdrops, and backs up towards the portal Caliga's opened for them.

Senior Diablo's eyes twitch at Johnny's proclimation to which he imediately turns towards him, suddenly in the form of a cheerleader, and bounds out the hole left in the wall of the Council Chambers. "BUT JOHNNY-KINS!!! RAH! RAH! RAH! WHO DO WE LOVE?!?!?"

Johnny SCREAMS and flails as he leaps head first through the portal, nearly shoving Caliga out of the way in the process. What the hell is all that about?

"Before I go.." Caliga suddenly spins around, a wild smile creeping onto his face as he extends his left hand upwards. "GENOCIDE..." He stops for a moment, then nods his head. "BEHOLD! THE POWER OF CHEESE!" A massive wave of energy is suddenly released from his palm, causing he three leading Pyramid Heads closest to him suddenly come to a stop as their helmets become large blocks of cheese. "Lookie! I made you some cheeseheads!" He starts laughing loudly as he leaps backwards, slipping through the portal which closes behind him.

"...That man is a nuisance Diablo..." The chains that were dangling from the ceiling start to retract as Hal finally lands on the ground, moving to take his seat at the table. He loses himself in his thoughts, obviously quite disturbed that anyone was able to not only figure out the frequency the Rings of Oa operate on, but to completely counter-act it. "How.."

The Ph's in question stop moving, and simply fall over, the cheese crumbling into whatever Cheese turns into after an ego of age. The body's left behind twitch randomly. Alessa stands up. "Damnit, now we'll never get that smell out. Well, at least their gone. I'm sorry about that Ms. Tendo." The Pyrimd heads each hand their knives to Kasumi in response to her question. She -is- Kasumi after all, and even the forces of hell can not refuse her what she wishes.. most of the time.

Kasumi smiles "thank you very much" she says, taking the offered knife "Oh it's ok, and to get rid fo the smell I woudl reccomend" as she briefly explains how to eliminate the odor of foul cheese without missing a beat

Senior Diablo steps back in the open... doorway... pushing his-erm, her hair back out of her face as she catches sight of the Pyramid Heads and Kasumi. The cheerleading devil nearly falls flat on the floor as Kasumi lifts the seven foot blade with ease. "Dear, oh dear.. we did pick a good one, didn't we?" The she-devil approaches the table, smoothes out her blue dress, and flops into the now oversized seat. Reaching for her glass of wine, she becomes he again. Looking much more himself Diablo shakes his head. "Well, I'm not sure what more we need to say at this point. Clearly Kasumi is already at home. Dear girl, you obviously don't need to be told how far your power now extends if you have the servants of Goddess Alessa heeding your command." He sips and glances at Hal. "Pouting won't make it better you know."

"I'm annoyed, Diablo. However, you're right. Dwelling on it won't help. I'll just have to be prepared for next time." Hal simply nods his head at this, leaning back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table. "Welcome to the council, Kasumi Tendo. I hope you find your stay here quite enjoyable. Heres to hoping it may be permenant." He flashes a smile towards the woman, his self-confidence back to normal.

The Pyrimd heads all nod their pointy domes in time, caught on Kasumi's teaching. Minon's of hell or not, the blades of those here will be stink free from now on. Alessa mearly smirks and says nothing, not going against it. She knows that they are still hers and she's comfortable in that knowledge.

Kasumi blinks "Power?" she asks. as she turns to Alessa "oh my, I'm sorry, I'm terribly under dressed for meeting Dieties" she says, turning to the Panda "You didn't tell me we were meeting anyone that powerful, my hair is a mess. No, I know the knife will help in the kitchen but it would have been polite to tell me I might be meeting a Godess, God, or Demon." as the panda looks almost sad, until Kasumi reaches up and pets it some, smiling "but we'll work through it." as she bows "It's a pleasure to meet you all" she says.

Senior Diablo smiles, "No, the pleasure is all ours I'm sure. It's not often we have someone join us that's not trying to fight for control or determined to punsish all those who stand near them for whatever crazy reason." He sips again, "And yes, power. You have plenty of it now. You are currently taking the place of the Goddess Empheria meaning you now have at your disposal all the rights and privledges there of. How you use such power is your own decision, although there's some very nice shops in the City of Dis you might wish to browse through. Being on the Council you can get anything you like for free as long as you hold that chair. Metaphoricly speaking of course."

"Of course, there is also the shops up on Twisted.. If you'd ever like to go and see them, I'd be more then happy to take you Kasumi." Hal smiles towards Kasumi, obviously letting some of his reknowned charm seep through. "There's another issue I'd like to bring up. The Major has been missing for quite some time.. We may want to look into this further sometime."

Alessa ignores the lot of them, choosing instead to leave her tea set and vanish into the shadows of her chamber. She's met the girl, accepted her into Emi's post, and it's past this Evil Goddess' bedtime. :P

Kasumi blinks "I don't think I've ever heard of Dis." as she sets the knife down, and motions to her shoulder "This is Mr Panda. My name is Kasumi Tendo. It is a pleasure to meet you all. This will make for some interesting diversions from running the Usual Resturaunt I think you call it."

Diablo ah's, "Excelent you're already familar with the surrounding area. That will make things run much smoother I'm sure. The only thing I could possibly warn you about would be Xipe Totec. Dreadful man, pins sticking out of his face, can't miss him. Stay away from him, and don't believe anything a woman named Hild tells you and you should be good to go. When there's a reason for us to gather here we'll find a way to summon you." Yes, that's done. He turns his attention to Hal a little better now. He wasn't ignoring him, just trying to find a better time to change subjects. "Lat I checked, Herr Major was in the process of building some new fangled contraption that I don't care about in the slightest. You know the rules as well as I do, Hal Jordan. Unless someone wants his seat on the Council there isn't much worth doing. Personally I'm greatful for his absence... but if you insist, go investigate. Maybe he'll know what to do with your little power-loss problem."

"Well, we have some decent resturants down here. Would you like to go visit one of them sometime Kasumi?" Hal moves his feet off the table, only to lean forward and rest his arms on the table, turning his gaze towards Diablo. "Yeah, and theres a problem with that. The Major is the weakest link. If Hild decides to go and take down the fat man, then she gets his seat. And if Caliga ends up killing Hild, he gets the seat. See the problem?"

Kasumi innocently smiles as a note with a word of warning find itself in front of Hal, pinned down with a ninja shruiken from somewhere, as Kasumi just smiles "I think I'll be quite busy for a while sadly, changing of the running of the UR and all, but I appreciate teh offer."

seems some group wishes to make sure that Kas makes her own decisions about who to date....

Senior Diablo shrugs at Hal's proposal, "Yes.. well... I still fail to see the problem with that. It's all part of the balance after all. Who are we to fight it?" Of course, he knows exactly who they are and fight it they usualy do, but that's neither here nor there. He sweatdrops noticebly as the shruiken comes into view and stares a moment at Kasumi before asking, "So.. hmm... does that happen often?" Isn't Diablo supposed to know everything that goes on? Maybe he's just asking for Hal's sake.

The shuriken is picked up, and tossed back into the darkness. "When you have the time, Miss Kasumi, please allow me to show you the sights." Hal merely smiles as he says this, turning his attention once more back to Diablo. "Well, if you don't see a problem with it, then who am I to question the great order of things. Of course. Theres another who could take the fat mans place. It'd be nice to have more pretty faces on the council. I'm kind of getting tired at only seeing you and Alessa."

Kasumi blinks "hmm? oh, every now and then. Oddly enough, it seemed to start about the time I found Mr Panda." she says with that innocent smile on her face.

Senior Diablo's eyes narrow at Hal's ramblings, "We'd best not discuss such matters. You know how quickly words travel in this realm. Besides, who's to say 'fate' doesn't already have plans in motion for such things." He smiles darkly as he leans back in his chair. "Perhaps... perhaps we should retire this gathering for now? I'm sure there's things which require my attention, not that I can say much for the rest of you."

"Yeah. We all do." Hal climbs to his feet, and shakes his head in amusement at Diablo's choice of words. "If you ever want to talk Kasumi, you know how to find me." He gives a slight wave of his hand, stepping into the shadows of the chamber, vanishing entirely from sight.

Kasumi smiles "Yes he does seem a bit forward." she says to Mr Panda as she looks around

Senior Diablo stands and bows, "No way to speak to a lady. Good evening, Miss Tendo. May your travels in our realm be enjoyable." He turns and eyes the hole in the wall a moment before turning around again. "Perhaps I'm ahead of myself. There is nothing else you need, is there?"

Kasumi smiles "No, I think I'm fine for now."

Senior Diablo smiles again and nods, stepping out of the chambers and into that reddish light. Somehow the wall seems to rebuild itself. It's as though the shadows where a fabric which somehow restitches itself after being torn. This could just be Diablo's influence, however... Soon Kasumi will find herself alone, for better or for worse. This might be a good time to investigate those bloody portals scattered about the room.

Kasumi just looks around, and tidys up, dusts, all the things she's good at before leaving to head back to the UR.



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