|The first order of buisness...|
Within the shed, through the darkness, three lights suddenly shine down from the ceiling. Two sillhoutes appear within the lights as traditional japanese music suddenly starts to play from nowhere. A disembodied voice suddenly springs from the darkness, almost as if were a narrator of sorts, "Having spent a long time out of the spotlight, our saviours with hairballs finally decided to come out of retirement to help breathe some new life into this strange world they have found themselves now living in!" In the third spotlight, an obvious grumble can be heard, "I thought we got rid of that guy! I mean, it ain't like he can't go bother some other cat, right?!" A female's voice comes from the middle spotlight, "A better question is where the heck is Guido? I told him he'd better be here or else his nine lives would be up..."
From the third spotlight, out steps Speedy Cerviche, leader of the Samurai Pizza Cats, and pizza deliveryman extrodinare! "All right! Let's get this thing goin'!" A pink fist however strikes the poor cat in the back of the head, "So this is what you've been yapping about?! Sheesh... Anyone could have thought of /this/..." Polly Esther grumbles, as she looks around the shed, trying to see if the third member of their trio is lurking about.
Excel nearly climbs ontop of Speedy to wave her hands frantically infront of Happosai. "HAAAAAAIII!!!! EXCEL AND HYATT, obiediant members of the Ideological Organization ACROSS are here as represntitives of the ACROSS Center for Munitions and Explosives as per requested! Excel of course is more important than anyone here and hopes that she will not soon find a trap door burried in the floor which opens via a secret rope that even now holds her fate hidden like a stalking buttler over the infamous and trademarked bottomless pit which falls down into the dark and lurking depths below! Lord Illpalazzo will have no choice but to punish Excel for her disobiedience for letting such flea-ridden creatures as these talking cat-people go before her and... wait. Your not Lord Illpalazzo?" Yes Excel has FINANLLY noticed that Happy isn't Illapalazzo. She might have noticed faster had she stopped to BREATHE! "Ney... Hatchan? Do you think Excel said too much about ACROSS's plans to dominate the city or has Excel been good and not given away that which even now must remain the secretist of secrets?"
With all this darkness, some of Twisted's Business Council might get a rude shock as one of the doors to the shed is suddenly bust open with a **BANG!** and light shines in the darkened room. A voice booms in, but it's hard to see with the sudden (and exaggerated) light shining through the door. Who is it? Another superhero from comics of old? A villain come to join in the devil's dealings? Is it another panty thief? A little of all of these, and more! "... Where there is darkness, we will shine light on it! I am the voice of illumination, the will of the people. Nothing will be left unexposed! Your secret... haff... dealings... pant... I will... *cough*" Suddenly the door closes and Trilby Trang- reporter for the Twisted Gazette - staggers into a corner, a notepad in one hand and his hat in the other. He falls down on his side. "... Go... on... *splutter* with the meeting... I'll take notes... for the press." He had to run all the way here as soon as he found out about the meeting. You can't stop the press, damnit!
Sabin arrives... less than dramatically. A raised cybernetic talon, an orb for the hand, surrounded by four prongs that serve as the gripping digits, swirling around to form as close to a hand as it can. "Sabin Figaro, bartender of the usual restaurant. The boss couldn't make it, so I reckon I'm the best they could send." the muscular blonde haired individual speaks, opening his eyes shortly after speaking. Must've been resting them beforehand. The right eye, a ruby orb makes a soft wirring sound as the proper eye on the other side focuses a bit. "I don't gotta serve the drinks right, I just get t'drink 'em this time?" He asks half-attentively as he looks around... no familiar faces in immediate view.
Hyatt looks over at her companion, then across the room at the assembled people who were present for Excel's rant. "I think it is possible they have heard... but I doubt the would have listened, especially since sometimes the way you carry on masks your true goals. I have noticed the way Lord Illpalazzo stops listening to you halfway through... perhaps they have done the same, Sempai." she says in simple observation, but with only a respectful tone and slightly listing through her words, as though she had just run a marathon and struggled to breath.
There are a few other names and voices who speak up amoungs the packed in crowd. Such as Guru Lou who-
Guru Lou interrupts, "NOW WAIT A MINUTE! Why do I get these rediculous walk on rolls? The Pizza Cats are here. Couldn't I come in with them? Shouldn't I get a moment in the spotlight? I'm the only Guru Twisted has with those three stuck up idiots over on Chronos. Why can't anyone show an old man some respect he diseeerrrveees...." And he falls into crying. Who wants to pay attention to a crybaby, huh? Meanwhile AS I WAS SAYING!!
There are a few other names and voices but NOW we're not going to focus on them at all. He's ruined it for everyone. Happosai sweatdrops at a few of the stranger introductions. He's seen some odd people, but it never seems to cease to amaze him just how diverse the people here really are. "Well now, that's enough of that. Now then, the reason I brought you all here started when I was just a young lad. I remember gathering together with my family to go see the local festival which was always such a shining becon to my troubled ways. A glimmer of hope that made me want to walk the path of righteousness and give my money to the local buisnesses to help support-" There's that interupting voice again? "WHAT WAS THAT? BACK IN THE STONE AGE? Only path you ever walked was the one with panties at the end of it..."
Flames seem to rise up as Happosai glares at the pigtailed boy carefully hiding in a shadow so we can't see who he is. "INGRATE! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR THIS CITY!" The shadow cries out again, "You mean after all the women you've-"
"HAPPO DAIKARIN!!!" A fizziling bomb is thrown at the strange boy who falls over out the door and explodes, the force of which slams the doors shut in the process. Happy takes a long draw from his pipe to calm himself before continuing, "In short... how about a yearly martial arts tournament with some kind of prize good enough to inspire everyone on Twisted Street to participate?"
A voice chimes in, "I told you mah boy, just let the old coot get it out of his system and we'll get a free meal out of it. And look, a bartender! Free booze!"
"Well thats because your an old pervert!" Polly glares at Guru Lou, before turning to Happosai, purposely ignoring the exploding kid. "So how much is this going to cost us? Francine'll have our tails if she found out we're here hawking our goods for free." Of course, the mere mention of Francine and her assured wrath is enough to make Speedy stay silent, allowing Polly to do all the talking. "I mean, the last tournament we were in was silly... and I lost to a cheater...." At this however, Speedy interjects, "You mean you lost to being tickled!" A quick and well aimed slash quickly shuts the cat in white up, as he starts whimpering at the fresh claw marks on his face.
Excel nods her head as she listens to everything. Wait, she knows how to LISTEN QUIETLY? She stands beside Hyatt, arms crossed, and nodding randomly to the beat of the words she hears. In all honsety she looks like she's just listening to music. Then again, maybe she is. "Excel wants to know the answer to this too. ACROSS is having financial troubles at the moment and can't afford elegence such as this meeting hall - let alone pitch in to build some big arena." Elegence? Oh. Wait. This shed IS better built than the Across shack. "Excel would be happy to help out in other ways, right Hatchan? We could help build the arena and supply the weapons if Excel and Hatchan could make some money doing it."
Hyatt looks over at Excel and nodded slowly. "It would seem to be a boost from our regular business, Excel-Sempai... which is... uhmm." she pauses a moment looking thoughtful... "None..." then turns back... "but we probably should be very careful about what they need. Far too much corruption with weapons in the city, like Lord Illpalazo has said." she blinks a bit and digs into her bag for the catalogue they always carried.
Excel nods her head in silent agreement. Silent? Twice in a row? She IS taking this seriously.
Sabin listens... with a raised brow as Happosai seems to be having an argument with one of his possible donators... But the point gets across. "Eh, like what're we talkin' here? It ain't a cash grab, izit?"
The old man shakes his head, his pipe glowing red as he puffs from it once more. "You all think too narrow-minded. If each buisness was willing to pitch in and offer something like free food for the winner, everyone on Twisted would be beating at their doors trying to get to the prize! My plan was to cover costs by inviting each buisness to close shop for the tournament and relocate at the arena we designate. Mwah-ah-ah-ah! Don't you see? By running everything ourselves everyone will have no choice but to buy their supplies from us! Imagine a stadium filled with consumers and each of us walking amoungst them, cart in hand, and ready to collect all that money for the community! It's brilliant!" He nods his head at his own words and takes yet another long puff as the crowd ponders his idea. Everyone would win, right? Why would anyone say no?
"And what would be your cut?" Polly isn't as dull as some of the others here. She crosses her arms and stares at the old man, knowing that as provacative of a idea this is, Francine would do something far worse then kill her if she agreed to this without it proving to be a bonus in the end. "Then again..." She hmms for a few moments, then grins at Speedy. "Why Speedy, I know you're our leader and all.. but just up and agreeing to something like this without even discussing it with Francine? I sure do hope you know what you're doing!" Upon which, a look of pure dread falls upon Speedy's poor face. "But.. but.. Polly... 'yer kiddin'... right? I... I didn't even say anythin'..."
Excel isn't paying enough attention again, it seems. Either that or she's just ignoring the antics of the Pizza Cats. "On behalf of the ACROSS Center for Munitions and Explosives, Excel and Hyatt agree to go along with the idea so long as we're allowed free food for the event too!!" She grins and whispers to her companion. Well, we say whisper. It looks like she's whispering. She's not though. Yelling is never codeword for whispering. "Ney, Hatchan! See how smart Excel-Sempai is? Now we get to watch the ignorant massises kill themselves and make way for Lord Ilpalazzo's mighty rule and dominion over this land while at the same time getting us something to eat! PERFECT-U PLAN!!!!" The last bit is bad English, which would make more sense if everyone here didn't hear her as speaking their own native tounge to begin with. It would also be more secretive if she wasn't screaming... or posing... or holding up matching flashcards with drawings of herself giving thumbs up over her own ideas.
Hyatt looks over proudly at her sempai, clasping her hands like a princess in a storybook who has just been rescued. "Sempai, you have really solved our food crisis on top of all of this." she says weakly, but cheerfully. "I hope it lasts us a while... Ohh, Im feeling so light headed..." truely, the excitement of the moment began to wear Hyatt down and she began to bleed profusely from her mouth, coughing up a horror movie's worth of blood onto the floor while she collapses onto the ground, bleeding orally. "For... forgive me... Sempai... I got too... excited..." ... her eyes roll back in her head while she lay there, dead as a door nail.
Excel goes into a Sailor Moon-esque victory stance. "HAI!!! EXCEL'S PERFECT-U PLAN!!!" What again? Well at least the pose and flash cards distract from the slowly spreading puddle of blood. "You rest now, Hatchan. Excel will now carry on in your memory and spread our plan from sea to shining sea! HAIL ILLPALAZZO!!!" Apparently it doesn't matter if no one has actually APPROVED said plan yet. Oh well, better to let them have their moment...
Sabin rubs his chin with his claw, contemplating the usefulness of it "It'd be a good way t'get rid of thedaily specials... other'n the foodzooka at least..."
Happy's pipe glows red once again as he narrows his eyes at Polly. Luckily no one seems to second her question so he lets it go by seemingly unnoticed. What would he get out of it after all? Certaintly he's not going to have the women from his club walking around offering lapdances to everyone. But that apparently is for the old fool to know only.
Since everone still seems in agreement, Happosai nods his head. "Then it's official!" He takes out a very formal looking scroll and stamps a seal on it. "AS OF THIS MOMENT, the yearly tournament shall commence! ..details to come later..." Why did he say that last part under his breath? Happy suddenly vanishes in a cloud of smoke leaving the document on the table behind him. Or at least, a copy of it. What's this clause about everyone having to pay for the announcer in advance? Someone's not going to be happy when this gets noticed...