The information contained within this log is to be considered information gained Out of Character (OOC). This information may not be used as In Character (IC) knowledge or in roleplay unless it has been learned in-game or permission has been granted by the parties involved.
Nowhereto Park - Fountain(#2924R)
You find yourself standing around a small fountain, surrounded by a small concrete courtyard with paths leading off in each of the compass directions. Spaced around the fountain evenly are benches and lamps; nothing really too elaborate. To the north, kids can be heard playing on the playground equipment. A cool breeze flows in from the east, and the trees to the west provide plenty of shade. Not a bad place to visit, really.
It's another normal, average day in Twisted. The sun is shining, children are playing, a man in tights is rocking back and forth on a spring-horse in the playground with a paper hat on his head while a small child cries because he's taking his turn.
Freakazoid tries to ignore the child, "Oh come ON Andy. You got to go last week! Why can't that be enough?" The child screams louder. "Ahhhhhh nutbunnies. FINE." Stepping off the horse, he picks the child up by his collar and sets him down in his place. "JEEEZE!!! FINE!!! JUST PLAY THEN!! SEE IF I CARE!!!"
Sulking, the blue man throws down his paper hat and stomps on it. "I wasn't having any fun ANYWAYS. I'll just.... I'll just GO SAVE THE WORLD OR SOMETHING. AGAIN!" A moments pause. "WITHOUT YOU!"
From behind and above Freakazoid, in the air, comes a voice like a chill wind down ones spine "Making children cry like always, Little Boy Blue?".
Looking up, it's Oblivion himself, floating in the air like Vega, legs together, arms crossed, eyes glowing violet, and grinning like a madman "Doesn't suprise me one bit, honestly. After all, a man in spandex that tight would make almost ANYone blind!".
He floats down to just above ground level, his stance not changing a bit "Oh, by the way, i was gonna destroy the world again. Just felt like telling you that trying to stop me would be a waste of time!". He frowns suddenly, thinking about what he just said, and shakes his head.
He pulls out a small group of sheets of paper, the cover of which is titled 'Script', and leafs through them "THAT can't be right..... why would i tell my inconsequential nemesis of my intentions.... ?" He looks at the camera "We're not THAT campy ALREADY, are we?!?"
Freakazoid points dramatically, his jaw nearly falling to the ground - literally, "YOUUUUUUU!!!!!! NEEEEEEMIIIIIIISSSSSIIIIISSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!" He strains to get that last S out with as much spit as possible, then pauses a second to lean over and glance at the paper in Olbivion's hands. "It's not campy, it's classic. See? Down there on the bottom of page 2 under the summary?" He begins to quote, "He floats down to just above ground level, his stance not changing a bit..." Sagenods, "You're doing it right. Just be glad you have a writer. I swear the chimpansees we hired to do ad-libs can't seem to get anything past 'ook' and they can't spell that right." Jumping back into his hissing stance he resumes, "Which REMINDS ME, hl;jkakjhl;k2j2-p092lana;lijodf!!!!!!" He pauses to face one of the children, "That's my new catchphrase!"
After several moments of further reading, Oblivion hhmms "Last i heard, they hired run of the mill monkeys for my script.... which might explain why this becomes Hamlet further on......". He suddenly poses dramaticly, pointing at Freakazoid "Too be, or NOT too be!".
As he says this, he opens the pointing hand, releasing a yellow jacket, which makes a 'beeline' for Freakazoid! Stinger first!
Freakazoid screams like a little girl before falling backwards in slow motion, each limb moving around the slow motion bee attack while the children continue to play behind them at normal speed. Before he can stand back up a loud series of cracks can be heard, and Freakazoid falls onto the ground in a heap. "Do the Matrix-gag, they said. We'll take care of it with some computer graphics, they said." He flails a limb at Oblivion. "DON'T THINK YOU'VE WON THIS ROUND, CRIMINAL! Just let me... just let me get back onto my... onto my feet." *SNAP* *CRAAAACKLE* POOOOOP*
Freakazoid manages to get back to his feet after an agonizing series of movements and then promptly grabs the previous spoofed sentance and throws it out. "Okay, adding extra letters may make it seem more dramatic, but if you add O's to pop it just smells like poo-gass.
Well EXCUSE ME, jerk.
Oblivion sighs, shaking his head, looking up and over the camera "Your RUINING our first really cool actiony encounter!". He reaches over for the child, and promptly throws the poor kid towards whoever it is that is invisible off camera.
"Go take your brat for a walk like a good parent, asshat!". He then promptly looks back to Freakazoid "It WAS poo gas.... can't you smell it? VERY low budget. Heck, i think even the power rangers had a bigger money-cap than we do for special effects.....
Freakazoid leaps to his feet, blocking most of the camera. An animal-like mask now covers his face as he goes through an elaborate series of martial arts moves, stopping midway in the middle of a kick. "SUMMON SUPER ULTRA MEGA-FREAK!"
With a violent shaking, a large Freakazoid-painted mecha rises from the center of the lake, which somehow Freakazoid himself manages to leap into the air and land inside it's head. "Y'know, I bought this off of the Pizza Cats when Ashley redid the grid and removed the Pizzaria." He pushes a few random buttons and the mecha belches fire into the air. "hl;jkakjhl;k2j2-p092lana;lijodf!!"
Freakazoid pushes the bluescreen away including the pre-recorded mecha. "No, no your right. It's cheap and low-budget. Why are we doing this again?"
With a raises eyebrow, Oblivion eyes the mecha "Wow..... that's a LOT of styrafoam!". He shakes his head as it is pushed aside "Last i heard, cause the crazy headwiz and his lackeys thought it would bring the place ratings". He scoffs "Imagine that!"
He kicks a random soccer ball at Freakazoids head, the ball bursting into flames almost instantly on his foot impacting it! "That, and there hasn't been a really big fight since The LJ-Breaker!"
Freakazoid manages to duck under the soccer ball but only just barely. Infact, his hair is now sizzling. "YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Someone screams behind him and the Freak is forced to turn and yell, "SORRY!!! MY FAULT!!" The blue man pushes up his sleaves and glares, "ALL RIGHT!!! You want a fight?!? I'll give you a fight!!!"
In a surprising show of agility for readers of logs, but not a surprising show for anyone who's seen the source material, Freakazoid jumps towards Oblivion, landing on his hands, and attempts to deliever a kick with both feet into his Nemisis's chest.
Freakazoid cries, "KIIIIIIIIIJAAAAAAA!!!!" Kija? "Yes, Kija. It's a valid war cry while attacking, look it up." ...no.
With a blink, Oblivion reacts! He isn't sure whether to leap into the air over the attack, or leap to the left or right.....
Somehow, through a combination of movie magic and mazoku madness, he does all three! His torso from the waist up leaps off his body and flies straight up, his right leg leaps to the left, and his left leg leaps to the right!
He looks down, , one of his feet tapping off to the side impatiently as he laughs "Oops! These kinds of scenes always make me go all to pieces!". His legs fly to him, reattaching, and he spins, suddenly looking like Rosanne Barr with a helmet on, saying in a nasaly voice "HERE I COOOOOOOOOOME!", and free-falling right towards Freakazoid!
Freakazoid watches the shadow of ObliviBarr spread around him and continue to grow. "If I have one regret in this life it's that I'll never get to sit back and see our special guest band of the day perform that hit song from their latest album Space Vampires versus Zombie Dinosaurs in 3D - I Can Only Count to Four."
As if suddenly summoned by his words, a large stage is set up on the beach beside them complete with instruments and a full metal band.
Lead singer, Rawrb, adorned in a multi-colored spiked hat screams into the microphone, "WE ARE... PSYCHOSTICK!!!!" The band begins to rock out to what sounds like the tune of Drowning Pool's Bodies. "OOOONEEEE, TWOOO, FIIIIVE, FOUUUR!!!!" Joshy sings into a second microphone as he rocks out on his guitar, "FIIIIVE FOUUUR!!!"
Rawrb continues to sing, "MEEEEE COUNT SO POOOOURRRR!!!"
Matty J, dressed in a giant over-sized pair of moose antlers plays bass as Alex bashes on the drums behind him. "GONNA COUNT, GONNA COUNT, GONNA COUNT NOW!"
"ONE!!! I CAN COUNT TO ONE!"
"TWO!!! I CAN COUNT TO TWO!"
"THREE!! I CAN COUNT TO THREE!!"
"FOUR!!! I CAN COUNT NO MORE!!"
Freakazoid shakes his head slowly, "Five. Five is the next number guys." Wait, what happened to Oblivion? His shadow is now growing heavily on the band, threatening to destroy the entire stage with a-CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHH!!!!!
The poor poor band! They look up in horror, to see their death Barring down on them! With a CRASH, First Impact occurs, and a 20-foot crater is all that remains.
Seeing as how it is full of dead, crushed, red-seeping bodies, it really IS all that remains!
Looking at the camera inside, Freakazoid sees no sign of Oblivion. Of course, then the camera shows Oblivion looking down inside from the other side of the hole. He has only one response....
"Wao! I know Kung Fu!"
Freakazoid flails backwards dramatically coming to a pause with his hands and legs up in the air, leaving him somehow standing on one foot. "BUH-WHA-! H-how can you be so MEAN?!? So EVIL!?!? I mean, that was the best band we could afford, and we've been trying to get music in here ever since the Head Wiz thought it'd be funny to have Gorillaz show up and play music while an army of zombie-monkies destroyed the city!" He unfirlls himself and gestures at the destruction. "I mean LOOKIT THIS!! We can't fix this!! There's supposed to be a tournament this weekend and everything! We'll barely have the blood soaked up by then!"
Angrily, Freakazoid pulls out a large mallet and raises it over his head, poised to strike with it. "AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT!!!" He charges at Oblivion, ready to strike the moment he can get close enough.
The moment he gets close enough is the moment he swings, which is ironicly when he's close enough to impact Oblivions head!
With a loud "SQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................." his head FLIES into the distance, leaving the body standing there, fists on hips, 'looking' off after it's head with one foot tapping impatiently.
It crosses it's arms, as if to say 'You happy now?', then flips Freakazoid off.
So much for family friendly!
Freakazoid shreeks like a girl again and throws his mallet into the air. "H-h-h-h-how ca-" >THWACK< ...and he falls to the ground, done in by his own mallet.
A momentary pause as, well, nothing happens.
Harley Quinn tiptoes over and shakes Freakazoid's body. "Maybe we should cut ta comercial?"
WILL FREAKAZOID RECOVER IN TIME TO SAVE TWISTED!?!
WILL PSYCHOSTICK EVER HOLD ANOTHER LIVE CONCERT ON A TEXT BASED GAME?!?
WILL THE ANNOUCER EVER BE FEATURED IN ANOTHER LOG NOW THAT THE PIZZA CATS ARE GONE!?!
The answers to these burning questions and MORE IN THE NEXT POSE!
BUM BUM BUUUUUUM!!!!
"..........eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" the ear-piercing sound is suddenly interrupted by a meaty thwack, the kind made when a very fast-moving Squee-ing head impacts an unprepared, and unarmored, announcer! A small river of red begins to flow on-screen from off-camera, followed by a bloody 'Blivy-head bouncing up to his body!
He picks up his head, screwing it back on with the sound of grinding metal with each twist. Afterwards, he cricks his neck "Aahh.... hate it when these scenes make me lose my head..... i can never seem to save face afterwards, to boot!"
With a smile, he taps Harley on the opposite shoulder, then steals the mallet from her when she looks! Sauntering up to the prone Freakazoid, suddenly dressed in an obnoxious golfing outfit, he assumes a putting stance.... stops to look into the horizon, shielding his eyes from the non-existant sunlight, before aiming again.
With a shout of "THREE!" he SWINGS! His target?
With an ear-splitting shreek Freakazoid is back on his feet, clutching his damaged groin and cursing in a high-pitched squeeky voice. "YOU CUT THAT OU-OWIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!" He sobs a moment before somehow grabbing Oblivion by his chest and pulls him down to mirror Freakazoid's lowered position. At least his voice is more normal now, "You... do you know what happens when you start hurting the star of the show?"
Another momentary pause.
Freakazoid continues, "The star of the show... GETS... MAAAAAD!!!!" Suddenly his clothes rip away, his body become a HUGE blue parody of the Incredible Hulk, complete with a pair of perfectly-fitting purple shorts that somehow are only torn at the knees. "FREAK SMAAAAAAAAAA-"
Harley Quinn cuts him off with a hand raised up into his face. "Nope, nuh-uh. I did not go putting in an application into another game just ta have to get caught in the middle of you two clowns." With a very-anime wink she grins, "I gots my own clown!" Yanking the mallet back from Oblivion she turns to march away, making sure to crack the mischif-maker in the head with the buisness end of the mallet in the process.
Freakazoid watches her leave silently before looking back at Oblivion with a shrug. "AAAASSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!"
Oblivions head abruptly spins like a top on his neck, with a SCREECHING GRINDING SOUND that makes all the cameras lenses, and a few peoples pairs of glasses, abruptly crack!
He reaches up, and stops it "What a WOMAN!". He eyes Freakazoid "I saw her first! SHE'S MINE!". He vanishes, appearing behind the Blue Meanie, and opens the air-inflation thingie the back of his upper shoulder, before vanishing again!
He appears in front of Harley "What a dame! Forget your clown! Come with me! I can give you POWER! Fame! All the inflatable toys you could EVER WANT!" he gets to one knee, opening a ring case "Will you be mine?" the ring has a diamond in it 3 times the size of the case it was in.... somehow.
Freakazoid urks as his costume's cork is pulled and slowly deflates into a puddle of latex as Oblivion vanishes away leaving the two of them alone for now.
Harley Quinn's eyes seem to grow three times larger at the sign of Oblivion's comical diamond ring. "OoooOooooh. I dunno Capt'n Wacky. If Mistah J thought I was cheatin' on 'em he might get kinda cranky."
There is barely a second's pause before she leaps into Oblivion's arms, throwing the ring's box over her shoulder and putting the ring on her finger. "But what Puddin' don't know, don't hurt him!" She takes a second to look it over once more before kicking her feet. "You DO know the way to a gal's heart!"
Freakazoid rips his way out of the inflatable Hulk costume and screams, "NO! NO WAY!" He marches up and seperates the two 'love' birds. "THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE -MY- SHOW! I'm the hero! I get heroes dibs!" He crosses his arms and sulks. "That means that I'm supposed to win. It's like Batman or the Power Puff Girls, I'm always supposed to win in the end! It's in my contract!"
A low growl eminates from the shadows as a man wearing a flashy purple suit with a bright yellow flower steps forward. A rather unpleasent frown rests upon his stark white face as he runs an equally white colored hand through the thick emerald hair upon his head. At first, it seems his attention is upon Oblivion, but with further notice, it's obvious he's glaring at the woman in red and black.
"Harley, might I ask what you're doing here? I mean, if you really do want to marry someone, especially a guy who is a blatent rip off of a rather crappy video game.. You just might break this man's heart!"
The purple clad man dramatically falls to the ground, clutching his heart. This would truly prove to be overly theatrical of it weren't for the fact he starts to laugh. "Hehehehahahahahhahaha..." At first, the laugh starts off low, almost as if the man were laughing at something humerous he just thought of, only to have the laugh grow in tandem and fever, until it drowns out the noise of the park itself.
"HARLEY! GET AWAY FROM THERE AND LET'S GO! WE HAVE WORK TO DO!"
The man wanders off, not bothering to glance back at the two. He knows full well that his orders will be attended to.
Oblivion blinks.... pulls out his contract. He reads it down, and sighs "He IS right.... it IS in the contract..... aaww hell....". He swipes the ring, and puts it back in the case, handing the mallet to Harley "He wants you more, and has deprived you of great entertainment.... i think you know what to do to repay him, riiiiight?" he gives a sadistic wink.
Then the REAL Joker appears, and in a flash, he's in front of the lunatic, with a VERY creepy picture of him in hand "MRJOKER! Can i get an autograph! I'm a BIIIIIIIG FAN of your work!
Few cause such wonderfully chaotic creations as yourself!" small tears streak from under his helmet.
Freakazoid stares blankly as yet another reject from the DCA... ...m, shows it'self and continues to upstage the self-proclaimed star. "OH COME ON!! MARK HAMMIL!?!? You get a Mark Hammil cameo and the best I get is Psychostick?! How am I supposed to compete with that, huh? HOW?!? This isn't fair. I wanna speak to my lawyer." The Freak marches out of the scene, presumably to use the phone.
Harley Quinn begins to cry as the Joker drops to his knees. "Oh, Puddin' nooooo! I'm so-" Well, she was gonna say sorry until he started laughing. Instead she huffs and starts to follow him dejectedly as he leaves. Of course, there's no effort involved to take off the diamond ring. That's been forfieted already. No give-backs.
...and Oblivion turns out to be a fanboy. "Oh jeeze. C'mon. I've changed voices three times. No one cares that my current voice is Tara Strong. Shouldn't that count for somethin'?" No, no it doesn't.
Oblivion looks around. Joker seems to have escaped him! HE MISSED A CHANCE FOR AN AUTOGRAPH!!!!
Falling to his knees, he screams "FREEEEEEEEEEAK!" in his best william shatner impression!
Freakazoid steps back into frame looking very disheveled. His voice, while quiet, comes out sounding very snobbish. "Oh, oh I see where you're going with that. Yes, well. I've worked with Ricardo Montalban, may he rest in peace, and you sir are no Armondo Gutierrez." Licking the palm of his hand, Freakazoid smoothes his hair back and leaps at Olbivion, trying to grab his foot and hold him in a figure-four leglock. "SAY UNCLE! SAY UNCLE!!"
Amusingly enough, Oblivions leg doesn't even budge. He just kinda stands there, watching.
He glances at the camera, and smirks sheepishly "He don't know me vewy well, do he?"
He reaches down, pulling a small hammer out of nowhere, and taps the top of his knee, making his entire leg, the one being pulled on, kick forwards, with a shout of "REFLEX ACTION!", in his best Deadpool inpression!
Freakazoid tumbles backwards and somehow keeps going, cracking loudly into the park's fountain. "I don't like you anymore!" Pulling himself to his feet, the Freak dusts himself off and sighs.
Speaking of 'out of nowhere' Officer Cosgrove manages to walk up behind him. "Hey, Freakazoid? How about you and me go get something to eat at Eat or Die? It's all you can eat day."
Freakazoid says, "I dunno, Cosgrove. I'm kinda in the middle of something here."
Cosgrove offers up a dollar bill. "Wanna stop along the way and ride the mechanical ponies?"
Freakazoid snatches the dollar bill. "DO I EVER!!!" The two vanish, leaving Oblivion alone in the park...
Somewhere else on the grid, Freakazoid and Cosgrove eat takeout from atop two mechanical ponies. "Cosgrove, lemme ask you something? If someone is beating you at everything, what's the best way to defeat them?"
Cosgrove hmm's. "Why do you have to beat him? Why not make friends with him?"
Freakazoid sighs, "Because he's my nemesis."
Cosgrove nods, "Remember the chick that played Diana Troy on Star Trek? She used to be mean and hate everyone - but when they stopped filming, she was the first one that cried. Think about it."
Freakazoid nods, "Maybe your right, maybe we CAN be friends!" Sometime later, back in the park. Freakazoid returns with a box of chinese takeout. "Hey, 'Blivi!? Wanna have some beef fried rice and go make fun of all the people with amnesia?"
Light snoring can be heard from the deep hole where the band died.....
Yup! He fell asleep! Poor Oblivion!
Freakazoid follows the sound of the snoring to the edge of the crater. "Awwww. Isn't that just the cutiewootsiest-adorables?" From someplace we'll never discuss he produces a blanket and a teddybear, tucking Oblivion into his dirt bed. Sitting the takeout box beside him, Freakazoid tip-toes off towards the playground equipment again. "Welp, since the place is deserted..." Yep, he's back on the spring-horse again. "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"