| The wake-up | ||
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Xue sits at her desk, a small speck of chaos-matter suspended in a cube of ice. Whatever it is she is doing, it isn't visible to the naked eye. Several sketches and magic formulae are spread out around her desk, along with various alchemical reagents.
Sitting up and yawning, Tabitha pushes the hair out of her eyes as she tries to focus on the room around her. From the cot Xue let her sleep on she can just make out the woman doing whatever experiment she's up to as well as the slight glint of light reflecting off of ice crystals on the rest of the room. Shuddering briefly, the girl pulls her blanket around herself before announcing she's awake. "So I guess it's always this cold in here, huh?"
Xue barely pauses in her concentration as she responds, one hand jotting notes while the other is held above the cube, doing heaven knows what to a non-mage "I'll let you work out my elemental specialization rather than insult your intelligence". Suddenly, the chaos-matter begins to glow, and explodes in a burst of electricty, which the cube manges to contain with minor damage. She sets the cube down and jots the results of this "Sleep well?
Tabitha blows a loose strand of hair out of her face that she missed somehow. "Actually yeah. Thanks for lettin' me crash here. I just couldn't sleep at her place. It was just too weird." In the absence of a toothbrush, she licks her teeth a moment just to be safe. "So ya knew my grandmother? Um, Samantha I mean. Ya said you worked together?"
Xue turns to face the feline lass, nodding "We were part of an decent-sized exploration team in another dimensional world called Metropolis. A place of dimensional instability. In our case it was to find treasures and resources, destroy major threats that appeared there, as well as help those who got lost or needed help out there.
One of the girl's eyes narrow as she raises the opposite eyebrow in a very NNY-esque fashion while she tries to plow through her now muddled memories. "So you would have been with 'er when she found tha portal ta Hell in the Wastelands?" One hand goes to her dagger, which she holds out from beneath the blanket letting the dim light dance across it's black blade. "Did you know th' guy who killed her?" The spark seems to vanish from her eyes as the resurfaced memories come flooding back. "or, um.. That I" Her eyes immediately begin to water as the girl drops the blade on the cot. "Did I really kill her? Why would I do that?"
Xue s normally neutral expression softens as tabby asks that question, replaced by one of some sadness. She eyes the dagger, then looks Tabitha in the eyes "To my knowledge, she never found a portal to hell. I killed her, though not intentionally. I won't lie to you. It took a long time for me to make amends for it, and is why i took finding you, a killer looking like her, so seriously". She shakes her head "I eventually found her again, and she forgave me. Everything after that happened when i was elsewhere". She affixes Tabby with a serious look, the neutral mask back in place "Whatever it was in your memory, it reveals what REALLY has happened since then".
Tabitha wipes her eyes on the back of a hand and sniffles. "…is it wrong that I'm not sure I wanna know what happened? Things where so much easier before all this." The focus in her eyes seems to still be fading beneath the tears. "I'd just… like…" Her movements become slower as she trails off but she's not gone just yet. It wouldn't take much to push her over that edge, however.
Xue says, "They say ignorance is bliss. The less you know, the simpler things get. I won't burdan you with what happened in detail, only that it was not intentional, and it was a long time ago. I only mention it to answer your question truthfully". She stands, and walks over to the girl, putting a hand on her shoulder "I know what it's like to have memories, thoughts, and truths rather unknown, but i've learned to deal with them to survive. I will not force such truths on you, BUT i caution you to be careful with the questions you ask. If your smart enough and mature enough to ask, then your smart enough and mature enough to be given an honest answer in my opinion."
The girl comes back to herself from the touch of Xue's hand and she responds by sighing heavily. "So what do we need ta do to fill in the blanks? Another trip down tha well?" She looks up towards the woman's face with fear creeping around her eyes. "I can hear 'em when I think about them too hard." She swallows hard and forces her gaze onto that dagger again before her eyes try to water once more. "Are they me or are they somethin' else?"
Xue says, "I'm not sure. Mindscapes have never been a strength of mine. I can do what i can if you want, but cannot promise the best results. As for who 'they' are....." she pauses to think ".... maybe their both? I recommend listening to them, but not being controlled by them. If they ARE, in fact, parts of you. consider what they say, see if they steer you or others to harm, or to the better, and decide from there. You must be careful, though"
And there's that bemused look that Samantha would get when someone would suggest something ridiculous. Usually NNY. Usually about stabbing something. "Sure. Sure. The little one wants ta color an' eat candy. That sounds like sage advice." The girl scritches an ear, shaking her head afterwards. "There's another one who's just stringing together profanity. Somethin' about 'tha bitch gettin' what she deserved'. I don't really see how listenin' to them is gonna help me figure this out." She sighs once again. "Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just goin' crazy."
Xue says, "The intent isn't always to 'help' you directly in the moment all the time, but to keep 'them' from being too harshly suppressed. IF they ARE you, they'll push back harder, and cause potential emotional or mental damage. If their something else, whatever pulls their strings will eventually reveal itself through them somewhere, more than likely."
Tabitha nods her head, letting out another sigh in the process. "Alright.. so.. aside from sage-like advice an' a night's sleep, is there anythin' else you can do or do I just need ta find a way to accept this an' move on?" She doesn't mean to sound ungrateful, but she did tag along hoping for something more. To keep her hands busy she reaches for the Dread Dagger once again, spinning it in her hands before starting to twirl it absently around her fingers.
Xue eyes the dagger cautiously, before looking back at Tabby "For one, it is safe here for the moment, so you can formulate your next move. As for acceptance, that is always something to strive for. Finally, for assistance, tell me specificly what you want, be it knowledge, or exploration."
The girl stares blankly at nothing in particular as Xue's words go through her mind. Just what DOES she want specifically? Answers, of course.. but answers to what questions exactly? "Knowledge, I suppose. I want to know why this is happening ta me and what I can do about it. Why does there seem ta be two sets of memories in my head, an' why did I do those things if I did do them?" She stops twirling the dagger around her hand a moment and stares down at it, seeing it as though it where the first time. "Tha way I remember it, Samantha Li-Bogard was an explorer, a hero. She found th' portal ta the Hell city and was famous. I found out later that it was all just a story my Mom made up ta make me wanna be something better. She was actually just a merc who slept with an' killed a guy she was hired to protect and this dagger was one of tha things she took from 'em. Diablo told me I might be able ta prove to everyone that she wasn't like that an' said I was right to be proud of 'er." She looks up at Xue, her eyes already filling with tears once again. "An' now I've got voices in my head an' a vision of *ME* bein' tha one who killed her." She throws the dagger to the floor, it's blade sticking into the ground easily. "I just wanna know th' truth. What really happened?"
Xue sighs.... where to start..... At the beginning, of course! "With what i know just of psychology, seperate memories can mean a couple things. Split personality for example. Having ones memory erased and rewritten is another. Past lives. Simply extreme trauma and the mind splitting it off can cause it as well. That varies from case to case.... Samantha WAS just a merc, that much is true when she adventured with me back in metropolis, but she did help save a lot of people, here as well when shit hit the fan some time ago". Xue signs "Unfortunately, the only information i can give you about what 'happened' is what your memory holds, and what i've pieced together from various sources. The REAL truth i imagine only one, maybe two people know for sure, and i don't know how willing they would be to telling you if asked". She stands "Do you want me to access deeper into your memory, and try to see what lies within your mind?"
Tabitha nods her head slowly as she listens along, waiting a minute or two after Xue finishes speaking to finally respond. Her next statement is harshly to the point, but at this time what else can she say on the subject? "...do you really think it would help?"
Xue can only give an uncertain look "I don't know. It may help, it may just reveal more unwanted secrets. If there is knowledge there, i can try to help dig it up, but help or harm is how much you want it revealed"
Tabitha shrugs her shoulders, "Then lets do this. If it'll give me some answers I'd rather get it over with sooner an' just have ta deal with the aftermath." Hopefully she won't come to regret that rashness later...
Xue nods "allright..... ". She makes a gesture, and wards begin to glow in a circle around Tabitha, as well as herself. Another gesture, and another set of wards appear around the both of them. Yet again, for a third. "There.... now we see what come of your decision.....". Xue puts her hand on Tabithas head, and casts her spell to recall and enter her mind...... | |
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