The bell chime on the door welcomes you to Coffee Of Doom. It's a simple little coffee shop with your standard decor. A few framed pictures that look like they where bought at a yard sale hang from the walls. There's some plastic plants to make the place look more inviting. Nothing really implies 'Doom' here, not even the prices which are pretty reasonable. It's not until you deal with the waitstaff that you understand the name. They're rude and snarky, they'll often make fun of people without obvious justification. Depending on what you order they may also make something not-quite what you expected. Smoothies are made with fruit and a hammer and not much else for example. They also make it a point to write up bizzare and horrifying new specials every few days that may or may not be real...
Apparently it's a good day. The sun is shining, the dust cloud over the wastelands is transparent and not opaque, and Johnny C is strolling along the Twisted Street with a pair of headphones half-head banging and flailing his arms around to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries. "Da Dun da da duuuuun duuuuuun!" Oh a whim he directs himself towards the only Coffee shop in town and leaps in through the door forcing it to slam open and scare at least a few people as his boots click on the tiles. "DUN DA DA DUUUUN DUUUUN!!!!!!" He grins mischievously at everyone who's attention it draws, flipping the headphones down to his neck as he approaches the counter. His eyes looking hungrily at whatever might be on sale today...
A certain forgetful dragon girl is behind the counter today, and she is nowhere near as jumpy as the girl seated by the door (who screamed when Johnny made his shocking appearance). She's currently a bit on the busy side, putting the finishing touches on a perfectly crafted cup of coffee...which she then slams on the counter in front of a woman who looks to be on the verge of tears. "Here you go, bitch, your half calf skinny chai latte with soy. Enjoy the cancer and infertility your crappy, chalky-tasting milk substitute is purported to bring! And if you don't like it, bring it back so I can spit in it." She smiles cheerfully and flips the woman off as she departs with her slightly sloshed up latte.
Johnny raises an eyebrow at the conversation, not really looking up until he's addressed. The maniac tilts his head as he realizes it's someone he knows. "I fucking want some coffee! Is this a theme, or just talk like an asshole day - because that totally needs to be a holiday.
Despite the bitchy attitude, Sun keeps a charming smile upon her face. "It's a theme. We're just like any other coffee shop, except we treat our customers like shit like they treat us, all while providing a delicious cup of coffee. What the hell kind of coffee do you want? I'm a barista, not a fucking waitress. This shit is art, don't insult me by ording something I pull a switch for. If you want that, get the fuck out and go to a convenience store." She keeps that charming smile on her face the entire time.
Johnny has to ponder that a moment. His eyes roll as he takes a mental inventory of things. "Wait, wait, wait... What other coffee shops are there on Twisted? Have I been seriously suffering the UR and the 24/7 this whole time for nothing? Seriously?! Fuck." He doesn't really care if there's anything else. He's made his point and his mind immediately moves onto another topic. "So... Art, huh. Impress me, bitch." Yep. That's his order. Take it or leave it.
"No, there's no other coffee shops in town. Go to the Usual or 24/7 for plain coffee." Still smiling the entire while. "You come here if you want fucking quality." As he makes his order, the dragon girl offers him a middle finger, accompanied with the most pleasant smile she can muster. "Right the fuck away, dipshit!" With that, she turns away, setting to work by grinding up a batch of beans especially for his beverage. "So what the fuck was your crazy stunt back at the Usual all about? Why'd you get mad at me for forgetting your ugly mug?" Apparently, a switch is on while Sun is in here, and it doesn't go off.
Serenity slips into the restaurant, the sound of the bell adding an unnecessary indicator of the alarmingly fluorescent mollusc's arrival. Ren pours into a vertical pose by the side of the door, evidently not in a hurry to order, and cheerily waves a pair of right fins upon spotting Sun. (The gesture is complete with some folds to suggest a cloth-draped arm where none exists.) The smile fades into concern as Ren then spots Johnny.
Johnny doesn't even notice the bell. Partly because of the headphones still blaring music around his neck, and partly because of the conversation. Sun's question sparks through his mind with a tinge of bitterness. "Not because you forgot me. Because Samantha was your fucking girlfriend the entire time I knew you. She lived with you. She talked about you all the damn time. You followed me to Twisted because she died and we were promised she'd be brought back." NNY crosses his arms and taps his foot in annoyance. "I spent an entire planet's lifespan imprisoned and stuck as a fucking undying..." He struggles for a word. "...thing." Yep. That's descriptive. "Like 65 billion years of fucking imprisonment just sitting around WAITING." He rests his arms on the top of the pastry case and leans towards Sun. "...so you tell me, please, why I shouldn't be offended you don't fucking remember her after she was gutted like a fish in the park?" That statement is going to go over well in current company, isn't it?
"Fuck off!" That's apparently the standard greeting when Sun hears the door chime, unless she's otherwise distracted. It's only after she looks up that she murmurs a soft oops, and waves. "Hey, Ren. Be warned, we have the worst service in town, despite having the best coffee in town. It's all on purpose." A friendly warning, she doesn't want to be TOO mean to Serenity. She taps down the coffee in the filter, and sets it up on a machine, setting up two shot glasses beneath the spigots.
The door jingles again behind Serenity, and in slips a man who oozes douchebaggery. Crisply ironed suit that looks a little too big for him, bleach-blonde hair slicked back in a way that offends the very senses, too much cologne, aviator sunglasses, and perhaps a slight touch of makeup to cover any blemishes. Oh, and don't forget the bluetooth in the ear. He makes a show of placing the keys to his expensive car in his pocket, before glancing at a sparkly watch that looks expensive upon his wrist, all while clearing his throat and tapping the toes of his immaculately shined shoes.
Serenity flinches a bit at the greeting from Sun, but returns a weak smile and a nod of acknowledgment following her warning. For the moment, Ren remains by the side of the door, eyes fixed on Johnny (or rather, on the visible example of his weapons). Ren rubs at the gill feathers on the back of the head a bit while eavesdropping, the latter supplemented by forming a concave shape with the 'wings'. As the entrance of the new fellow, Ren looks up and nods politely to him. Ren doesn't seem to notice his cologne but is momentarily distracted by his watch.
If Johnny could read Serenity's thoughts, he'd be laughing that the dagger alone is enough to make her nervous considering he used to keep enough weapons on-hand to survive the apocalypse. He did look in Serenity's direction when Sun brought attention to her, offering a slight (and easily ignored) wave before turning his attention back to his conversation. Once more the door chime is ignored when the man walks in, this time because his eyes are locked onto that piece of paper Sun pulls out. He strains to look as he proceeds to describe his former best friend. "She was about five feet tall. Dark hair. Bad accent full of broken Japanglish." He pronounces the J like jalapeno. "Plus I mean she was a friggin' cat girl. How many of those do you see every d-" He was going to say 'day' but his eye finally made out the helmet in the drawing. "I KNOW THAT HELMET!" Johnny doesn't even bother to move along the counter, forcing anyone who's standing in line behind him to simply be forced to continue standing there, blocking the doorway.
An apologetic smile is turned toward Serenity. She didn't mean it, promise! The dragon-girl gets back to work on the coffee, clicking on the machine. The coffee begins to brew, pouring into the two shot glasses, all while Sun begins to steam the milk oh-so-carefully, eyes on a thermometer clamped to the metal pitcher. She really is taking Johnny's request seriously, determined to make him something amazing. "Cat girl...I know a cat girl. Tabby." She tilts her head, thoughtfully looking up for a brief moment, before turning her attention back to the task at hand. It is a credit to her nerves that she doesn't drop the scalding hot milk when he shouts, though she does twitch ever so slightly. With the two main components done, Sun sets about pouring flavorings into the beverage, a splash of this flavor, a dash of that, a bit of cinnamon sprinkled into the cup. Then, the two shot glasses are upended into the flavors; the milk comes next, but this is poured slowly, deliberately, and out of view, as if she is hiding some part of the creative process. "Who is it?"
The man, in the meanwhile, is fidgeting anxiously, his shiny shoes tapping on the floor; less than a minute passes before he's glancing at his shiny watch again, this time letting out an audible sigh of impatience. "The fuck is taking so long..." he grumbles. Those aviator glasses are a blessing, as nobody can yet see the death glares that he is casting about the coffee shop, from Serenity to Johnny to Sun.
Serenity looks mildly surprised to see Johnny engaging in such ordinary behavior as a wave of greeting and begins to relax a bit as this is followed by a relatively normal conversation. The mollsuc stretches a bit taller and flutters slightly to the side for an unobstructed view of Sun's work. Ren still doesn't approach the bar, however, and lingers in the suspended blob of water next to the entrance. The remark from the ostenatiously-outfitted would-be customer gets a smile and a pat on the arm with a damp fin extended from the cloak of water. "The establishment even completes the experience of rudeness with excessive wait times. A thoughtful touch, no?"
Johnny very obviously cringes at the girl's name. "Seriously? You fucking know Tabitha? What, is it some freaky mother-daughter bonding thing? Look, I said it the other day. We made her outta that barstool at the UR. You made the body, I brought it to life. She's made in Sammy's image." His attention is brought briefly back to the asshole complaining by the door as Serenity draws attention to the line. Actually, it's probably the spiking of his wastelock from the ooze pouring off this guy into the ether, but eh. Whatever. Johnny raises one hand up to lean his head on as he looks back at the people behind him, grinning at Serenity in the process. "Hey. Art takes time. There's a 24/7 right up the road if you're in that big of a hurry." He doesn't wait for a response before looking back at Sun and snapping his fingers as he remembers she asked a question. "Oblivion! Pretty fun guy. Talks in my head sometimes. Seeeeeems like he's got a rivalry with the guy in the red tights or something equally stupid."
"Fucking right you are, Serenity! We PRIDE ourselves on our long wait times. It's our way of making you pay for wanting the best coffee in town." Sun grins over at Serenity, pulling a clean wood stick from a cup by the bar, still working on Johnny's drink. "He's got it right, we are in the business of ART in both taste and appearance." Except when she slams a customer's coffee on the counter and spills half of it.
The guy at the back of the line begins jingling his keys in his pocket, all while tapping those shiny shoes on the ground and checking his watch every thirty seconds or so, all while letting out the loudest, most irritated sighs that he can manage.
Serenity flashes Sun and even Johnny a smile (to the extent that a smile can flash without teeth) and waves a 'hand' to them (a bit of extruded fin edge) in response to the agreement. While his attention is apparently elsewhere, Ren is inquisitively looking over the overdressed fellow. After a few moments of noises from him, Ren leans in (threatening the ironing job on his shirt) and motions to Sun. "Don't be shy with passive frustration," Ren encourages. "I think the proper appreciation must be cursing loudly, or, better yet, creatively insulting the parents."
Johnny sweatdrops at the parents comment after what he's just said about Tabitha. He turns to say something, but clams up - not wanting to go down that road. Instead he looks down at the coffee and smirks. "Ahh, dongs. Will you ever stop being the go-to for people who don't take art classes?" With a laugh he sips the coffee, nearly choking and spilling it once it hits his tounge. "Holy fuck that's good." He sips it again. "REALLY good." Sip. Johnny looks back at Serenity, and slyly at the man by the door out of spite. "DAMN. You guys have got to get one of these." He still doesn't move out of the way, though. Why should he?
The dragon-girl stands there, certainly not about to deny Johnny his moment of glory in the long-anticipated coffee. "I can draw, I just wanted to make a portrait of your pretty face." She grins widely, crossing her arms and nodding sagely. "Only the best for my apparent Baby Daddy, after all." A sage nod bobs her head up and down, while she goes about (slowly and deliberately) cleaning the items used to make Johnny's delicious coffee.
The man takes Serenity's egging on as license to be...himself. "What the fuck, man, get the fuck out of the way! Not only does it take a fucking ice age to get a fucking cup of coffee, but you gotta hold up the line? Fuck you, man, some of us have SCHEDULES." He violently rips his expensive aviator sunglasses off (and carefully places them into a carry case that is then tucked into his ill-fitting jacket), and glares at Johnny. "Place to BE, you know? But you wouldn't understand that, judging by the looks of you."
"I'm just here for the performance!" Ren replies cheerfully, motioning toward Sun with a right 'wing' as Johnny calls out toward the back. "I'm looking forward to an educational experience." As the neighboring customer starts to charge foward, Ren makes a quick flutter to the side. The smile fades a bit as the man addresses Johnny rather than an employee.
Cringing dramatically at the 'Baby Daddy' comment, Johnny just hangs his head and sighs. At least until someone has to go and piss in his Cheerios. "Y'know what? I'm having a good day. I'm going to keep it that way." He walks directly up to the man, getting in his personal space with a loud slurp from the coffee. "Any other day. Any other place, and I would make you suffer in ways you can't fucking imagine." His pupils seem to fade into white as he speaks, the room seeming to darken dramatically along with it. "But today. Today you get a free ticket because as far as 'judging' goes, sooner or later you'll have to come before me and receive yours." A statement that would be much more intimidating if anyone remembered that he was the Judge of Retributions in Hell, or knew in the first place as the case may be. Johnny turns to Serenity and bows. "Ma'am, I'm sorry I took up your time. Please enjoy the coffee and the company of my fine friend here." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small wad of red-stained five dollar bills and deposits them on the bar. "Thanks Sun! I'll catch up with you later now that I know where to find you." Another sip of the coffee and he heads for the door, offering the man a raised middle finger. "Until next time."
That customer service smile remains plastered on Sun's face, even as the man decides to be a dick to her customer, even as Johnny acts pretty scary. "See you, Johnny. Good talking to you! Do tell Oblivion that I'd like to chat, if you talk to him before I do!" At least she has a name to the face, now. "Now fuck off, I have work to do." That said, she takes the red-stained bills (with a pair of tongs), placing them in the bottom of the register for Tina to deal with later.
Serenity gives the green eyes a fin-swipe after Johnny darkens the room and before determining that an obstruction isn't to blame. Ren is still looking vaguely worried by Johnny's language when Ren returns his bow. After his departure, "Not today, thank you," Ren replies to Sun. "I believe this person was next. Or next to last, according to custom?" Ren pats the man's arm and offers him an encouraging smile. "Hh, yes! For future reference, 'Your mother was your father and the midwife had tentacles,' and variations thereof are terribly rude."
The man jerks away from Serenity's touch, brushing at his jacket. "Don't fucking touch the suit, you nasty little squid, this is the FINEST FABRIC available! Do you know how much this cost?!" He snarls at Serenity, before stepping up to the counter. "I just want a fucking latte with caramel."
Finally, Sun turns her gaze toward the man. "Sugar tits, let me lay it straight to you. You treat ME like shit, because I am getting paid to put up with your bullshit. You don't treat my other customers like shit. Now calm your sugarfrosted little titties while I make your latte." She sneers, turning around and...with much less care, she throws together a latte. It certainly doesn't take her as long to make this one, which is slammed onto the counter, half of its contents spilling out. "Here's your sugary sweet little drink, you fuckin' pansy. Get the fuck out of here, now, and the next time you turn your verbal abuse on my customers, I will fucking drag you out of here myself, by the nose." She smiles charmingly.
The man, caught off guard by this, pays and leaves, grumbling under his breath.
Serenity'blinks' eyes inward a bit at the man's outburst, hovering smoothly backwards by a couple feet, but seems only startled and not particularly upset. With a flickering undulation of the fins, Ren slides to the side, toward the counter but well to the side of the queue and the register. The subsequent tirade from Sun elicits a sympathetic pained look during the delivery but a smile to the server afterwards. Ren twists to watch the man go before turning back to Sun. "Also- sex workers and infidelity feature prominently in my language's cursing," Ren offers, motioning inward. "But I see your attacks are less conventional and more targeted."
Taking out a cloth, Sun goes about cleaning up the mess she made, still looking quite cheerful. "It's best to cater attacks to the individual. I find that attacking them based on their drink choice is an effective starter. Usually, they give you ammo based on that, and it tends to snowball into more and more insult." She grins, even as she cleans. "My favorites are the ones who will shoot them right back at me. More fun that way." She chuckles. "I do feel this job has helped me develop a nice, thick skin."
"Understandable," Ren agrees thoughtfully, leaning on the display case while listening attentively to Sun. (There may be some thin salt splotches on the glass later.) "But some of us are more easily scratched than others," Ren remarks afterward. Ren then gives Sun a grin and a waggle of the rhinophores and motions toward the door. "Speaking of which, did you succeed in taking Lucas home with you?"
While seemingly unphasable in here, Ren's question prompts the dragon girl to go bright red. "Well, kind of...I got him to stay on my couch because I bought his bottle of vermouth, and I made him stay in exchange for it." She's bright red, definitely. "I'm not giving up any more details than that." She nods, wiping down the counters just a little more fervently. "Except he's cute as hell, and he did finally confirm that I am a cute girl."
"Your opinion," Serenity says with a smile, briefly leaning towards Sun, "and your tactics, are noted. I'm not sure that I could do better." Ren motions toward the door. "But I suppose I should be off to look for work now. I wish you luck!"
A wave is offered. "You have a good night, then, and good luck on the job hunting. If nothing else, you can learn how to bartend, the Usual tends to let just about anyone work behind the bar." She smiles, putting the cloth away once the counter is clean; she'll worry about the display later. "See you around, Serenity."