Johnny sits at the bar harassing a red-haired pig-tailed waitress. From the amount of empty glasses sitting before him, he's been at it awhile. "This place used to always be fun, now it's just that place people go to sit and be emo."
The waitress rolls her blue eyes and sighs, "God, I know! Remember when people actually used the karaoke machine? That used to be the only reason I came in here back in the day!"
Tak comes into the UR, though now she's no longer bothering to use the disguise. She's her actual Irken self, accompanied by Mimi in S.I.R. form. "Oh, it's you again. Hello...."
Yeah RIGHT! As if Ruby would come to a place like this without come kind of ulterior motive! Tak's probably not in the room longer than like a minute and the door bursts inward! A spray of rosepetals spreads around the new arrival as she fires a large weapon out the door! "I." BANG. "Said." BANG. "Not." BANG BANG. "Yours!" Between muzzle blasts, is that... a bunch of people outside yelling 'mine'!? Weird. Anyway, the girl rips the door closed and leans upon her weapon. She even spits out an off-white feather. "What IS going on here! I was exploring, decided to break into my strategic trail rations and these talking seagulls tried to get me! They chased me all the way here! Why are you all calm!? Talking. BIRDS." Huff, puff. She's fine. Except the sonsabitches got her cookie.
With a nonchalant wave to Tak, Johnny just resumes his conversation with the waitress. "I haaaaate that fucking thing, but yeah. I agree. It used to cheer these fuckers up. It was certainly better than coming in here all the time and seeing everyone look like George over there nursing his drink all night." He gives a nervous wave to George next, "No offence!" George just waves back. He's cool like that.
The Waitress is less cool with Tak's appearance looking at her a little wide eyed with a vacant expression mixed in that gives the impression she's trying to place where she's seen this alien before. Mimi gets a much better reaction with, "Oh coool!" Not that anyone hears that as Ruby makes her very loud and very grand entrance. As people glance in that general direction, Yoiko Hibiki forces a smile. "Welcome to the Usual!" Because talking birds? Yeah. That's the usual too.
Tak blinks and turns slooowly toward the girl, looking at her with....that IS disbelief, right? "Why yes, things talk! How very perceptive of you to notice that! I can't believe no one else noticed!" ....is she being sarcastic? She's saying it in such a sugary sweet, sickening voice that it's hard to tell.
Johnny's decided Tak's tone of voice is sarcastic and as such he's snickering. Doesn't matter if it really was or not. "See? Getting more lively here already."
With an exaggerated shake of her head, Yoiko objects, "That doesn't count! I want music! I want a production! At this point I'd take Ranma's rendition of the Transformers theme over the silence in this joint." To be fair, that was the greatest karaoke night she can recall - but she'll never admit that to anyone. "Maybe we should make it an event? Post flyers?" Yeah, they've literally been talking over her so they ignored every comment about the birds. The Eternaly Lost Girl does at least smile again when Ruby responds back. "If I can get you anything, just ask! On the house!" It's always on the house. Sounds better when you say it out loud, though.
Tak says, "...yes, they /are/ rather adept at making poop everywhere...." Tak replies, immediately dropping the 'you are stupid' voice, cause she wasn't actually TRYING to disguise herself. It's just that it's still a natural reaction to things that seemed dumb to her . Now she's back to her actual...britishy sounding voice. "...if you are so desperate for some music, what is it that's stopping you?" She invites herself to sit near Nny. "...welcome, keep a look out for cannibal waitresses...""
Tak says, "Then again I guess it isn't being a cannibal when I'm not human, is it?"
Anything? That's got Ruby interested enough to hurry to the bar. Bout as fast as the statement can be said and she suddenly arrives on a barstool with a bang! Just her boots hitting the barrier, "I'll... have..." The conversation is taking weird turns. The creepy bug girl, especially. "Cannibal waitresses, what...?" Even talk about bad karaoke is better than that! "Waffles! With chocolate chips!" Pause. If it's free... "Everything that goes on waffles! I don't know! HurrypleaseI'mgonnadie!" For added effect she drops her head onto the bartop and whines. "Being weird at school was easier than this." Oh, poor thing. Free waffles and she's gotta be cranky about it!
Johnny sighs, "Good. Put up fliers. Then I'll know when not to be here." He doesn't seem phased by Tak sitting down beside him. Of course right now he's more focused on finding a way to shut up the waitress that he's known her too many years to just tell her to fuck off. "...what's stopping you. Hmmmm. Okay, fine. You want a production? You want bad singing?" In one quick motion he takes out his dagger and plunges it into the surface of the bar. Darkness spreads out, turning it black. When he yanks the dagger back out the shadows vanish with it leaving in their wake a battered sketchbook. "This place has a projector of some kind, right? Project me." Uh oh.
The cannibal comment is lost on Yoiko who stares at Tak again, trying to place her. Something about her is familiar and that attitude reminds her of Johnny. Maybe one of the spin-offs? Johnny's sketchbook gets a raised brow though and with a mischievous grin as she pulls it off the bar and starts thumbing through it. Ruby's demands force her to stop and with a nervous sweatdrop she drops the book onto a panel behind the bar and heads into the kitchen to start grabbing what she can. Let's not get into the hows and whys of a projector in the UR. There's lots of things no one pays attention to. In roughly the time it will take Tak to react, the first of several skutters comes wheeling out of the kitchen with a plate of cookies. Why does it have a cowboy hat on? The next one seems to have a feathered headdress on. Maybe it's a theme night?
Tak turns toward Yoiko. "Sorry about that," she explains, "The first time I came here one of the other waitresses here tried to have me for lunch. I didn't mean that in reguards to you..." She raises a brow at what Nny's up to, but doesn't bother to actually vocally question it.
So for as long as it takes for something resembling food to arrive, Ruby keeps her head down on the desk. She's defeated! Beaten! She almost sobs, but... oh! A plate of cookies! Perfect to tide her over 'till waffles! "Thak'm'yww!" What!? Yeah, she's already gobbling cookies. No shame. No restraint. Cookies are dying horribly before her fury! Hope those weren't for someone else. "I'm restored! Wooooo!" Only now does she realize something ominous might be happening. A projector? Weird sketchbook? Thafu? For the last few cookies, she slows and munches, staring with mute curiosity. "These cookies are really good." To no-one in particular. Yeah, she might just... wind up lurking here.
The red-haired waitress comes out of the kitchen with a large tray of waffle toppings and drops them on the bar nearest Ruby. Her eyes seem to be boggling at the idea of what the girl had planned for this. But yeah, distraction time. She glances around for Johnny who is already up on the stage clicking buttons on the machine in the corner. What's he up to...?
The sound of a lone guitar being plucked comes out over the speakers around the room, followed by the soft melody on a piano. The lights are dimmed and Johnny steps into the center of the stage where a lone spotlight highlights him. "I... hurt myself today..." His voice actually isn't half bad. "...to see if I still feeel..." The projector comes to life, showing images of a catgirl very similar to Tabitha but somehow older onto the curtains behind him. "I... focus on the paaain.... The only thing that's real..." The image changes to him carrying this girl in the rain. "The needle tears a hole... the old familiar sting, try to kiiiiill it all away... but I remember.... everything..." The image changes again to a drawing of the two of them back to back in a sewer fighting monsters and... weird cartoon doughboys? Someone gets this stuff, right?
Tak blinks and just looks on with an 'oooookaaaaaaaaay then' sort of expression. That's what the waitress woman was going on about? This is...what was it? Care-e-o-key? ...so it's like a different version of the poetry thing the humans do on valentines day? ...isn't it kind of like a commercial jingle too? ...worst comercial jingle she heard if that's the case. Commercial jingles are all sickeningly happy.
Johnny looks up at the projected image as it changes again, this time to the catgirl smiling. "...what have I become? My sweetest friend?" The image changes as he looks away being replaced with her bleeding and dying. A younger version of her is holding a knife in her chest and smiling. "...eeeeveryone I knoooow goes awaay... iiiiin the eeeend..."
The image changes once more to a self portrait of Johnny looking dejected on the edge of a cliff. "...you could have it all. My empire of dirt... I will let you down..." Another changed drawing, this time of Johnny wielding a double ended scythe and cutting down a group of people next to an elaborately drawn fountain. "...I will make you hurt..."
Another drawing flashes up of Johnny sitting on a throne of skulls staring longingly at a statue of the catgirl. "I wear this crown of shit... upon my liars chair. Full of broken thoughts I cannot.. repair." This time we see Johnny with a dagger in his hand, cutting a hole in a wall. "Beeeeneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear. You are someone else... I am still right here." The drawing changes to Johnny sitting obviously in the UR at a table with ghosts of people around him. The catgirl again, a man with a poofy bomber jacket, a man with a long sword who seems to be asleep. "What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end..."
Johnny has started to cry, his voice is beginning to crack as he takes out a gun and looks at it longingly. "...and you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt." The projector turns off leaving the only light in the room being Johnny as he sings to the gun. He's not planning to...? "If I could start again..." A tear rolls down his cheek. "A million miles away..." He points the gun at himself, singing into it like he was the microphone. "I will keep myself... I will find... a way."
The gun goes off. Blood and gore splatter across the stage! Someone screams. Yoiko turns on the lights and starts clapping at the sight of the maniac's corpse lying still on the stage...
Tak says, "...this is a part of human culture that I did not learn yet... I don't understand it..." She shrugs and just orders something as if nothing had even happened. ...go figure....irkens and their only knowing the loving touch of a cold, unfeeling robot arm.
Yoiko starts getting Tak's order, ignoring Johnny's corpse as well. A few people get up to check on him and another shriek goes out as the corpse sits up and blows out a mouthful of smoke. Blood drains out of his mouth as he shoos people away. "...anyone got a bandaid?"
Johnny grins with a mouthful of blood soaked teeth at Tak as he stumbles drunkenly towards the bar and flops onto a barstool. "I feel lightheaded..."
Yoiko rolls her eyes at him and slams a first-aid kit on the counter. "You win. That was a good performance, but that's it."
Johnny scoffs, "That's it?! I proved I was dead!! You owe me five bucks!!"
Tak says, "Well of course you feel light headed...weren't you missing some of your head?"
The maniac is half-way to patching himself up as the Invader's words penetrate his skull. He simply shrugs, "It'll grow back."
Yoiko takes the moment to point and laugh, "AH-HAH!! 'GROW!' You're not dead! I keep my five bucks!"
Johnny glares, "Hair and nails grow after you're dead! That doesn't count!"
The girl sticks her tongue out at him and turns to Tak. "He's been threatening to do this for months, don't pay any attention to him. It was either going to work because he's dead, or fail miserably because he was alive. He doesn't get to off himself like that."
Johnny points back at her, "BECAUSE HE'S DEAD. You heard it!! She said it!!"
Tak tilts her head and shrugs. "Well he definitely shot himself in the head....but he's definitely alive now."
Johnny stops dead in his tracks (ba-dum-tiiish). "No, wait. That can't be right."
Yoiko giggles, "Yep! She's right!" She leans close and pokes at his freshly bandaged wound. "So go clean that mess up and we'll call it even."
Johnny looks back at the stage and slumps, "That'll take me half the night!!"
She thrusts a mop into his hands and points, "Better get started then."
Tak shrugs and looks at the mess. "It's not THAT bad...have you ever had to clean a trash dump planet?"