Pre-Game - You Hoo! I’m back. Chosen One, you get to go first. It’s my way of saying thank you. Thanks for coming, thanks for nothing. Let’s play maggots.
44:30 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. I’m going to put you back in your place. Return to the start.
44:03 - Stop! Only joking! (Laughs)
43:08 - Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Not so fast little maggot. Return to the start.
42:22 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. (Laughs) I think I will pass.
41:08 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. A long time no see, eh. Did you miss me? Shut up. So, tell me Chosen One. Who do you think needs a bit of a handicap right now? Point that maggot out, and its going to have to roll its number to play again. Thanks Chosen One.
39:16 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Miss a turn. (Laughs)
37:36 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. You look like a maggot who wants to cause trouble. Then cause some trouble for me. Take a gate and place it in front a maggot you want to trouble. (Laughs)
36:27 - Anyone in the black hole is released.
35:31 - Stop! Time out. (Clock stops) Now, who has not managed to land on a headstone yet? Hands up. You are losers. In fact, you are worse than losers you are Soul Rangers. So, do me a favor. Pick any unclaimed provinces and turn it over to me. It is a sewer. It is a dreadful place. It is my type of place.
34:42 - (Coughs) The curfew is over. The Soul Rangers are released.
33:14 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Ah! Take a gate and place it wherever you want.
32:16 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. So what . . . what do you think of me as a man, eh? I do not think much of you either. So, take a fate card and read it aloud, because I always have the last laugh. (Laughs)
30:41 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Is that as high as they go? I don’t think so. Hands up all of you who think this maggot is giving me some lip. Eh, not looking good maggot. Hands down. Now, hands up all those in favor of having this maggot roll a six to play again. Pretty obvious, eh. (Laughs)
29:28 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Higher. Not high enough. Stand up. OK, sit down. I’ve seen lepers look better, (Laughs) Hey! Everybody watch me wipe the smile off the maggots face. Guess what maggot. You’re banished. (Laughs)
28:17 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. What colored keystone do you need? Tell me the color. Very pretty. If any maggot has that keystone, it will raise its hand, immediately. And you, you get on free pick. If you pick that color, it is all yours.
26:59 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. It is better to give than to receive. So, what is your number? I'm going to give you that many free turns, but you owe me a favor.
26:22 - Who owes me that favor? Hands up. Do me a favor and point at the maggot you would like to see return to their headstone.
25:41 - Anyone who is in a black hole is released. I hate that.
25:10 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Give me your number. That’s how many keystones you’re going to have to return. Put them back where you found them. You filthy maggot. If you don’t have that many keystones then return what you have and roll your number to play again.
24:01 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. What is your number? You could have that many free turns, or you could point a finger at and force it to show its hand for the rest of the game by turning its keystones around, so that all can see. Your call.
22:32 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Oh, I've just learned just learned how to do something. I have just learned how to make trouble. And I'm going to make it for you. Return all of your keystones to the places you found them. (Laughs)
20:55 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Take a gate and place it wherever it will do the most damage.
19:59 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Take a fate card and read it aloud
18:07 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Forfeit your turn
17:37 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Not any longer. Miss a turn.
16:17 - Any imbecile who has fallen into a black hole is released.
15:05 - Stop! Time out. (Clock stops) How’s it going, tragically I trust. Things can only get worse. How much worse? Who has the lowest number? Hands up. Roll both the dice. Give me the number. Hmm, if any of you takes more than five seconds to decide which way you are going to move you will lose that many free turns. This is what I call and incentive. Make sure you all enforce it.
14:04 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Take a fate card and read it aloud. (Laughs)
12:23 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. If you are a Soul Ranger you will return all of your keystones to the provinces they belong. If not lets forget this ever happened.
11:20 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Roll your number to play again.
10:17 - Stop! Everybody wants something. What do you want? What keystone do you really need? All together now, tell me the color. Oh, take it in turns to roll one die. If you roll your number you can take that keystone. If there are any left.
8:29 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Roll one die. What is the number? If the number is equal to the number of players you may take a keystone from the province your in.
7:42 - Hey! Chosen One, who’s winning. Point a finger at the maggot and it must return on of its keystones to the place where it found it. Then return to its headstone.
6:37 - Anybody wallowing in the black hole is released.
5:35 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. You are in the right place at the right time. Precious. You can take any keystone from the province you are in.
4:20 - Stop! Return to your headstone. Now!
3:29 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. Take a gate. You don’t have to place it now. Wait till it will do the most damage and then position it in front of the harbinger you want to stop in its tracks.
2:12 - Stop! Whose turn is it next? Hands up. You could take a keystone from the province your in, or even better you could take a keystone from any maggot. Its your choice.
1:00 - One minute left maggots
00:00 - Game, set, and match, kiddies. I win; you lose. Good riddance. It was real and it was good, but I cannot say any of you where real good.