STORY SHRINE Beavis My name is beavis, I haven't a clue My poetry sucks it sounds like beef stew Butt-head's my friend but he's realy a creep I still can't beileve he hasn't bathed in a week When I eat candy I'm like Jekel and Hyde My teachers get scared, they go run and hide When I eat sugar I become Cornholio So you better not threatin me you ugly bungholio! When I see chicks they suddenly become skemish, This poem's too long, I think I am finished... © 1998 Jason Skaggs Loonicy Death is near! Your full of fear! The end of earth is soon... Carrots dance above the trees, and you are called a loon. Hell is full! The dead will rise! And Heavens over crowded... So listen well, don't go to Hell, For you are all now grounded. The dead will rise into the sky Into a brand new heaven... Were good is bad, and no one's sad. 'Cause thers a seven eleven. Do not cry, your gonna die! Do not cry, your gonna die! Your gonna die! Your gonna die! Your gonna DIE! © 1998 Jason Skaggs MARROW As the two of them stood in the darkness of the alley, the pale light from the girl’s watch lit up her face as she tried to read the time. "All right, " the girl says, "You’ve got five minutes to explain yourself before I get the cops!" In a moment of panic the tall man glanced down at the girl’s watch in time to see the seconds tick up to exactly six o’five. Things had finally started to go right for him when the lady had come down the street. When the girl had seen him and the corpse in the street, she had turned to run. Amazingly, he had managed to catch her and calm her down in just a few minutes. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all. "What do you want to know?", the man asked. "Well, for starters, why do you look like some kind of skinless soldier and why my boyfriend is lying in a pool of blood in the street!?" "Please calm down. Look, it all started last night... * * * * * ...I was surrounded by darkness. I don’t know how I got there. Where was I? I felt cold. Suddenly, these weird numbers flashed before my eyes. They were just kind of floating in the blackness. Although I don’t know what they mean, I somehow know what they say. "What’s going on?", I ask myself. The numbers weren’t numbers, they were instructions. It was something like "kill or be killed." Images began to pass before my eyes. Thousands of people dying. The numbers began to say They did this and that They will do it again if I don’t stop Them. I must admit, I was beginning to believe the numbers. Then, without warning, my vision goes fuzzy. A strange, cross hair just appeared, floating in front of me. It was like being strapped into a computer. Without warning, my vision clears. I’m standing... no sitting in a cluttered room. The cross hairs are still there. The lightning was bad there. It was hard to see. I knew I had to do something, but what was it? It was so hard to think. "Wait a minute, the numbers! Those people are here. I have to stop them. I need a gun..." Call me crazy, but I could have sworn my hands where empty. Only, now I was holding a gun. I knew what it was without even looking at it. I’ve held far too many during my days in the military. Then I think, "Wait, when was I in the military? This is weird. Well, I must be on a mission so I need to stop letting my mind wander. the best thing to do is to carry out my mission and work out the details later." To no one in particular, I shout, "Where are you hiding butchers!?" No answer. I didn’t think I’d get one any ways. As I maneuver through the building I can sense movement. "They must be hiding from me. Those cowards deserve to die." As I step into the hall, a set of large double doors sit before me. I can see people standing outside them. I raise my gun to eye level. With my other hand I push open the door. Before they could react, I fired upon them. Instead of an explosion and a bullet, a flash of light erupts from the barrel. The light engulfs the person nearest me. His flesh instantly dissolves away reveling his charred skeleton. It falls face forward. Then I think, "What’s going on? I’ve never seen a gun do that before!" As I ponder this, my eyes catch my reflection on the glass of the door. the face starring back is not my own. What I see is a skeleton. Electronics are embedded into it. Strips of metal surround the skull like a helmet. Instead of eyes, a long metal visor rests. "What did they do to me? I’ll kill them! I’ll kill them all!!" * * * * * Without warning, something on my back explodes in flames. I’m launched into the air. "What happened?" I ask myself. Then, that locked off part of my mind tells me its a jet pack. What else have they done to me? I’m miles above the city by now. I can see the roofs of the buildings stretching off into the distance. The cross hairs of my vision lock onto something, and before I know it, I’m rocketing toward some punk kid. Amazingly, the kid does not react when I land before him. He must think this is some kind of a joke. ("Was that...?", she mumbles.) (I tell her, "Yes, I’m afraid so...") If I had more control it wouldn’t have happened. My arm lifted up on it’s own accord before I could react. Another gun is in it’s hand. There is a flash of light, and the skeleton of the boy crashes to a smoking heap onto the ground. "What have I done?" Before I can ponder this, a voice speaks up from the alley behind me. The two could easily pass as Beavis and Butthead except that large chunks of their bodies are missing. The only thing that could describe these two is the term, zombies. "Hey, check it out! It’s that Mario dude we’re looking for!", the Butthead says. Mario? The name rings a bell, only, that’s not quite it. "The name is Marrow," I say. But where did the name come from? Why couldn’t I remember? "Uhh... Death Card told us to kill you!" Puzzled, I say, "Who’s Death Card? Why does he want me dead?" Before they can speak, a creature appeared behind them. Instead of a head it had what looked like a t.v. Instead of hands it had what looked like metal claws. The two things saw it and ran away. The creature turned to me and began to speak. "I can’t believe those two where told to come after you. Doesn’t he trust me?" "Who?" "You’ll find out." The thing begins to laugh. As it does, the world around me dissolves away to a desolate landscape. Flames erupted from the soil. The flat burning landscape stretches on endlessly. But, form behind me. A voice begins to speak... "’Marrow’, real name..." "What?" "...born in the state of..." "Who the hel..." ...sent to prison for the crime of killing a confessed criminal. Married to Christine Hall, deceased. Current status, also deceased. Is this correct?" I turn around. Before me is a large throne about twelve feet high. A monster sits upon it. It looked like something from a nightmare. It looks mostly human except for the spikes. the spikes are indescribable. They just "grow" through his skin like some kind of sadistic plant. He must be in great pain. "Who, or what, are you?" "I am the great Death Card. I’m here to make sure your soul goes to the... proper place..." "Why do I get the feeling you’re not talking about heaven and hell?" "You, you little scientific reject, have what I need to release myself from this prison. I was banished to this Hell by one of your ancestors. There blood still passes through what passes for your veins. I need it if I’m ever going to be released to get my revenge on your miserable little planet. Now, I’ll ask you nicely, GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!!" Flames erupt around me. He must be serious about this. I use my jet pack to launch myself into the air. Death Card looks up at me with hatred in his eyes. Before he can react, another gun appears in my hand and I fire. Death Card flies back from his throne, knocking it over. His charred copse explodes into flames. People..., no, souls step out of the flames. One of them, a girl, motions for me to come toward her. I do. "Thank you. Now that Death Card’s grip over us is gone, we can go onto the next life." As suddenly as they appeared, the spirits vanish. I am now alone, completely alone except to corpse of Death Card beside me. "Wait," I scream, "How do I get out of here?" The girl’s voice speak out in my mind, "The crystal on Death Card’s staff, get it..." I walk over to his corpse, sure enough, there is a jewel on the end of a golden staff in his hand. I reach for it. "Take the crystal and place it on the groves on your hand. Those groves are teleporters." I look. Sure enough, four small groves are etched into my right hand. this explains the guns... "The crystal is an object which pulls souls toward it. That is how Death Card captured us. It should allow you to teleport yourself once you connect it to your teleporters...." "Thanks!" I place the crystal in the palm of my hand, and in a flash, I’m standing on the street again with that poor boy’s corpse at my feet. There is a bank across the street. A digital sign there reads, "6:01". The sky is slowly brightening with the rising sun. * * * * * "I may no longer be human, but I’m alive. I also feel in my bones that wasn’t the last of Death Card. I don’t know when, but I know we’ll cross paths again. Until then, all I can do is pray..." The girl looks up at Marrow, eyes wide. She then turns to look at the corpse still lying in the street. She can still see the bag he dropped before he died, lying in the grass beside him. The bag that she had given him before he left last night. The bag that she had given him for their anniversary. "You expect me to believe that bull?" "I don’t expect you to believe anything. I just want to get out of here before that thing with the horns gets up and realizes what I’ve done." "You mean, you don’t think he’s dead?" "I thought you didn’t believe my story?" "Uh... yah. Umm, I just kind of wanted to know..." If he could have, Marrow would have smiled at this. Of course, it was six thirty and he really didn’t need to be standing in an alley with a corpse in the street, thinking about smiling! "I know that whatever I do or say can bring back your boyfriend’s life, but, I’m begging you, please forgive me and let me get outta here before I’m caught!" "Well, I don’t have much choice. No one would believe this anyway..." "So I can go?" "Like I could stop you! Hurry up and get outta here!" With that, Marrow’s jet pack ignites as he launches himself into the air. She stands there a minute, watching him go, until she spots something out of the corner of her eye. "What’s this? A crystal?" Remembering the story, she tucks it into her pocket and leaves the alley just as a police cruiser pulls up to the curb. She tells herself, "No one is ever going to believe this. But, at least it might make a good story..." Epilogue In the burning wasteland of Hell, the corpse of Death Card erupts in energy. A black cloud rises from it. From within the cloud a twisted monster steps forth. Horns protrude from every piece of the creature. It looks down at the charred body in disgust. It had failed, but, it will not fail again. Next time, Marrow shall not be so lucky... © 1998 Jason Skaggs Sheyot!! (Dedicated to Tejus) Turn on the f__king air, Sheyot! Beeotch! Kill the Net, Kill the Prez, Kill the A__holes who make Pez!! I'm tired of all this f__king crap, Let's kill them all before I snap Your God is dead and no one cares If theres a Hell you will be there! © 1998 Jason Skaggs The Night of the Dead Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Dead bodies were stalking and killing my mouse They came through the door when I watched tv And I saw in their eyes that they wanted to kill me So I hid in the basement, trembling with fear 'Cause I knew, if I moved, they'd rip off my ear There wa far too many for me to defeat And all I could hear was the falls of their feet But wait, what's that noise that I hear up above? It's the sound of a fat man and his trusty shotgun! Their skulls he was blasting, bits of brain flying free This jolly old man was on a killing spree And, with the job done, he opened the basement door Something then fell and crashed on the floor It was a gun he had tossed me before he dashed out of sight Screaming, "Merry Christmas to all, It's gonna be one hell of a night!" © 1998 Jason Skaggs