TURN THE VOLUME UP
AND THE LIGHTS DOWN
BARON SAMEDI
Z O M B I E
NIGHTMARE II
Pre-Game - Welcome back, kids! Welcome back to the game, my game. Call me two faced - call me anytime - call me Baron Samedi! Scope this! Check it out, children: talent, Raw talent! And baby, believe me, rock and roll is good for the soul, except - I AIN'T GOT ONE! Now how's that for an opener from a good looking corpse! Now here's the scoop, kids. Whenever old Uncle Baron says, "Thrill Me", you'll stand straight up, straightaway, and say, "Yo Baron, I can dig it!" That's "Yo Baron, I can dig it!" Can you dig it, children? Let's cut to the chase. Yo! The babe who's got the highest number, thrill me! Yes...! "Yo Baron, I can dig it!!!" ...if you ain't on your feet by now, babe, paying me some lip service, then dig this: hit the hole! And whoever holds the lowest number can take your place. Hopefully, you're at attention... paying attention? Now, roll the dice, babe. What you roll? Guess what? I was just thinking about that number and wondering how long it was going to take each one of you to roll it before you can even start to play! So sue me! The loser on the far left goes first. But hey - is that my left or your left? Think about it.
01:02 - Yo! Everybody thrill me! "Yo Baron, I can dig it!" Now this is what I call group therapy. But anybody who failed to stand and lay aloud "Yo Baron, I can dig it" on me, is in for some shock treatment! Hit the hole! And a word of advice, kids: when I'm talking to you, keep standing, until I exit, cuz I hate bad manners. *snorts and spits*
02:35 - Anybody still waiting to play...? *giggles* Thrill me! Give me your number. That's the number of turns you're gonna miss. Getting a little paranoid, are we! Chill out!!
03:34 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! You're going to have to do better than that! You're going to have to raise the dead before I let you off the hook! Once more with feeling, Dirtbag. Give me some creativity in the delivery. Thrill me! Is that the best you can do, Dirtbag? I'm going to have to put it to a vote. Hands up all those who thought this Dirtbag did its best. Hmmm. Hands up all those who thought that Dirtbag could have done better and should roll a 6 to play again? It's a done deal, dudes. Catch ya later! ...Dirtbag.
04:40 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
05:15 - Hey, Dirtbag! Thrill me! Just checking if you got a handle on your new name! *laughs*
06:13 - Did anybody draw the Baron from the bag? Take a bow, babe, and then take a Time, Fate and Chance card. Hey, if you can't help yourself... who can you help?
07:13 - Let's dance! If you're on a gravestone marked "Time", move forward 6 spaces. If you're on a "Fate", move back 2. If you're on a "Chance", miss a turn, and if you're on an "X", hey, kid! You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hit the hole!
08:35 - Yo! Anybody in the hole: you're outta there! Now everybody, thrill me! Take it in turns to roll the dice, children, and whoever rolls their number first wins a key. What are you waiting for?
09:53 - (the lighting on the Baron's face is altered, with emphasis on his eyes) Yo! Dirtbag, thrill me! Hey kid, was that the best you could do? Hands up all those who thought Dirtbag laid a good enough "Yo Baron, I can dig it" on me. A landslide! Hands up all those who thought Dirtbag wimped out and should hit the hole. It's a done deal, Dirtbag!
11:07 - Yo! Who has the lowest number, thrill me, babe! Lend me an ear child: whenever you hear this sound... *sound of slide whistle* I want you to yell, "Show Time", and then take a Time card. That was "Show Time", kid. Repeat it for me. That's good, kid. And don't miss your cue, or you're in a world of pain.
11:33 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
12:00 - Yo! Who has the highest number? Thrill me! Listen up: whenever you hear this sound... *a scream* I want you to yell, "Big Time", and then take a Time card. That was "Big Time". Repeat it for me. That's good, kid. And don't miss your cue, or the same applies to you.
12:54 - Yo! Who has the highest odd number, thrill me! Take this thought on board, babe: whenever you hear this sound... *the Baron's giggling* I want you to yell, "Party Time" and take a Time card. That was "Party Time". Repeat it for me. That's good, kid. But don't miss your cue, or you're through!
13:51 - Yo! Who has the lowest even number, thrill me! Whenever you hear this sound... *sound of a vintage car horn* I want you to yell, "And Then Some", and take a Time card. That was, "And Then Some". Repeat it for me. Yeah, you're catching on real fast, kiddo! But don't let me catch you missing your cue!
14:45 - Here we go, kids! Let's put it all together. A-one! A-two! A-three! Hit it, children! *cues sounds are heard as Baron dances* Yeah! Show Time, Big Time, Party Time, And Then Some! If you missed your cue, you gotta roll a 6 to play again, but if you sang it loud, and make Baron proud, take a Time card, kids.
16:00 - Hey, Baron: have a free turn. I've changed my mind - make that 2 free turns!
16:38 - Hey, where's the Dirtbag?! Thrill me! What's happening, bro? Who's winning? Not anymore. Return a key or roll a 6 to play again. Thanks, Dirtbag.
17:14 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
17:55 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Hope you're having a lousy day, because it's just about to go from bad to worse. What day is it anyway? Hmmmm, that's a bad day. How many letters? Hmm? That's how many free turns you get to roll your number twice consecutively for a key. But fail, and that's how many turns you dip out on!
19:04 - If you're in the hole... you're outta there!
19:53 - (the Baron's face is more wrinkled) Check it out, children, beauty's only skin deep - but ugly cuts right to the bone. Yo! Everybody, thrill me! Yeah! if you reckon there is safety in numbers, forget it. Roll the dice, kids. C'mon! Roll it, roll it, roll it! Now... whoever rolled the highest can remain standing. Everybody else can take a load off their feet. Looks like your number came up, kid. Well, numbers to be precise. Now, this is the score. If you get all the sums right, you get a key. But if you fail, you have to roll a 6 to play again. How's that grab you, hey? Here we go... How many days in a week? How many weeks in a year? How many months in a year? Give me your number. How old are you now? Now, add all those numbers together before the count of 10. 1, 2, 3, 4.... 8, 9, 10. Total! Time's up. Hey... a tip: when your IQ reaches double figures, sell it, man! *laughs*
22:03 - *Baron dances to music, as all four cue sounds are heard* If you just missed your cue, you got to roll your number to play again! But if you sang it loud, and make me proud, take a Time card.
23:23 - Yo! Who's the youngest? Thrill me! Hey, kid! Looking good. You look nice and fresh. You're my main squeeze, babe. Now how's that grab you, hey? Tell me, kid, how old are you? That's how many seconds you have to roll your exact age for a key. You know the score. Have as many turns as you want. But if you roll a total higher than your age - you got to start again. Your time starts now.
24:51 - Yoo-hoooo... How's my main squeeze? Thrill me, you pretty young thing! Did you roll your age? If you succeeded, have a key. I'm feeling generous. But if you lucked out, roll the dice, and the number you roll is the number of turns you miss!
25:45 - Yo! The kids with the highest and lowest numbers, thrill me! Hey, ever heard of word association games? It works like this: I say the word, and you say the first thing that comes into your small heads. There is a catch: if you both say the same thing, you both hit the hole, and each time you can't think of anything to say, you miss a turn. Here we go. Dead! Time's up. Buried! Time's up. Heart! Time's up. Beat! Time's up. Zombie! Time's up. Baron! Game's over, kids! With a bit of luck, you're both in the hole. Hey... look at life on the bright side - I could be there with you!
27:45 - Yo! Anybody in the hole: you're out of there! Now, where's Dirtbag? Thrill me, Dirtbag! You're the exception. Get back in there and stay there until I decide otherwise, and Dirtbag... if you've got a card up your sleeve that lets you out of the hole... consider it cancelled! *laughs*
28:43 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Hope you're good at making new friends, because you're about to lose a few! Hearts and minds, kiddo, let's win them over. Now, take a look around, and tell me honestly, who you think is the ugliest baby at the table tonight? Good call! It's ugly alright! Hey, ugly one! Keep away from mirrors! You don't need any more bad luck! *laughs* Who else would you like to stitch? Anybody in particular you'd like to sideline for a while? It's a done deal! That opponent has to roll a 6 to play again. Okay, you've got one wish left. Who would you like to see hit the hole? Hey, how to win friends and influence people. You've got that down pat, ain't that right, Dirtbag? Hey, Dirtbag! You're out of the hole! Friends.
30:22 - Hey, ugly one, thrill me! You are sinfully ugly, aren't you? Come here, so I can have a better look at how ugly you really are. Yeah... If looks could kill... oooooh. Come here, ugly one. Promise I won't bite. I don't know where you've been, but I reckon it's around the block a few times - hey, not that close! Now, keep looking at me, ugly one. We're about to do a bit of backstabbing. I want the player who voted you as being the ugliest to roll the dice twice, and then you have to guess the total rolled. Now ugly one, what's your number? That's the number of guesses you've got. Fail, and hit the hole. But guess right, and you score a key!
31:48 - X marks the spot, kids, and if you're on one, you've got five seconds to get off. And if it ain't your turn, that could be difficult.
32:05 - Anybody on an X just got crossed off the list. Return all your Fate cards, then hit the hole.
32:31 - Yo! Ugly one, thrill me! Like a chance to get square? As I like to say, don't get angry, get even! Now, who would you like to see in a world of pain? Just give me the name, babe. Yeah? I want to have a little heart to heart with that nasty little piece of wax! On your feet, babe, and thrill me! You won't; you're gonna hate it. Roll the dice, and please, enjoy.
The following text appears on the screen to give the result of the player's roll:
1 - miss 1 turn
2 - miss 2 turns
3 - miss 3 turns
4 - miss 4 turns
5 - miss 5 turns
6 - miss 6 turns
33:45 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Give me your birthdate, babe. Day, month and year. Now, how old does that make you? Okay, kid. Add those four numbers together before the count of 10. 1, 2, 3 4 5 6, 7, 8, 9 10. Total! If you failed, hit the hole, but if you succeeded, roll the dice, and if you can roll a number higher than yours, take a key. If you're number 6, a tip: don't bother.
35:00 - *A greener Baron dances to music, as all four cue sounds are heard* Show Time, Big Time, Party Time, And Then Some! But if you miss your cue, you miss this many turns! *Baron holds up his hand, notices a finger missing, and hastily withdraws* Ahem. It was 5 the last time I looked. Honest. But if you sang it loud, and make me proud... take a Time card.
35:44 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
36:18 - Hey, ugly: top this! *Baron removes his hat to reveal his brains* Do you like it? Man, those earthworms don't do anything for a guy's complexion! Heh! But here's to look at you! Hey, the kid with the highest number, and the kid with the lowest number, thrill me! Two's company and three's a crowd, and one of you is going down. Who is it to be, hey? Roll the dice, and let's see! Whoever rolled the lowest, hit the hole! And that leaves just you and me. Give me your number, babe. That's how many chances you have to roll your number, or you're gonna miss that number of turns.
38:01 - Hey! Where's the stale one? The old geezer that going off and turning bad? Who is the old geezer? Thrill me. Look everybody, it's a fossil! *laughs* I'd chop you down and count the rings, but we'd be here all night. So talk to me, fossil. How old are you? Oooh. The preservatives are obviously working over time. Anyway, I don't want to take up too much of your time. Looks like you ain't got a lot left...! How old did you say you were, fossil? That's how many seconds you've got to roll your exact age; your time starts now!
40:00 - Hey, fossil, thrill me! If you rolled your age, have a key. But if you failed, roll the dice, geezer, and the number you roll is the number of turns you miss.
40:47 - Let's dance, children! If you're on a stone marked "Fate", miss a turn. If you're on a stone marked "Chance", receive a free one. And if you're on a stone marked "X" - I hate that. Hit the hole. And Dirtbag, thrill me. Ah, what stone are you on? Better make yourself at home. You ain't playing again until I return.
41:35 - Hey, Dirtbag! Thrill me! Get out of my sight, Dirtbag, go on, beat it, exit, lose yourself! Don't call me, I'll call you! ...Hey: if you ain't out of the room, and out of my sight by the count of five, you're gonna miss that many turns! One! Two! Three, four, five!? ...Okay, kids. Now the Dirtbag is out of the room, I want one of you to roll the dice, but keep the number to yourselves, because the Dirtbag is gonna have to take a guess, and it better be a good one, okay? Roll. ...Yoo-hooooooo! Diiiirtbaaaag! Get back in here on the double. Roll the dice, Dirtbag. What you roll? Hmm. That's how many chances you've got to guess the number we rolled behind your back while you were out of the room. Guess right, and you get a key. But fail... and hit the hole, Dirtbag!
43:39 - If you're in the hole... you're outta there!
43:54 - (the Baron is now even more wrinkled, bathed in purple light) Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Give me your number, baby. If it's odd, you got to miss that many turns. But if it's even, you get that many free turns to try and roll your number for a key.
45:02 - Yo! Whose go? I want you... yes, you! Thrill me! Give me your number. Now, your telephone number! Add all those numbers up before the count of 10, or hit the hole. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10! Time's up, kid! Lay the total on me, baby. If you didn't get your act together, hit the hole, but if you did, and the total is an odd number, you get one chance to roll your number for a key. But if it's an even number... you get two chances.
46:25 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! I got some bad news for you, baby. If you got any keys, return one. If you don't, you got to roll a 6 to play again.
46:53 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
47:19 - Yo, Dirtbag, thrill me! Sorry for giving you a hard time, Dirtbag. I'm really very fond of you. In fact, I'm even going to give you... a free turn. Go on! Roll the dice, baby. What did you roll? Hey, guess what? That's how many turns you're going to miss.
48:23 - Yo, everybody, thrill me! Take it in turns to roll the dice, kids, and whoever rolls their number first gets a key. Off you go! *pause* Time's up! ...if nobody managed to roll their number... bad luck.
49:20 - *Baron dances to music, as all four cue sounds are heard, twice* Show Time, Big Time, Party Time, And Then Some! Sing it again, kids, sing with the Baron! Show Time, Big Time, Party Time, And Then Some!
50:16 - (the Baron is now completely zombified, and speaks in a demonic voice) Where is the Dirtbag?!? Thrill me!! What's your problem, kid? I'll tell you what your problem is: ME!!! Roll your number to play again!
50:35 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
50:49 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Take THIS, you sick little puppy! Roll your number to play again!!
51:17 - Yo, whose go? Thrill me! Toss the coin! Heads, and you got to roll your number to play again. Tails, and yours is in the hole!
51:50 - Yo, whose go? Thrill me! Where do you think you're going, kid?! You're going nowhere, cause you can't play again until you roll your number!
52:19 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! How about a best of 3 for a key, kiddo, hey? And you can even call the toss! What are you waiting for, baby? Toss the coin three times, and if you luck out, hit the hole!
52:54 - Yo! Everybody with an even number, thrill me! Whoever holds the highest number, gets that many chances to roll their number for a key, and whoever has the lowest number, misses that many turns!
53:30 - Where is the fossil!?? Thrill me!! Give me your number. You got that many chances to roll your number for a key. But fail, and hit the hole, old mole! Where is my pretty young thing!? Thrill me! Sweet pea...? What's your number? That's how many chances you've got to roll your number for a key. But fail, and that's how many turns you're gonna miss!
54:25 - Yo! Everybody with an odd number, thrill me! Whoever holds the lowest number, gets a key, and whoever holds the highest number, misses that number of turns!
54:45 - Scrolling text reads: If you're in the hole.....you're outta there!!!
54:56 - Now, who's winning? Who has the most keys? Thrill me! You've got to roll a 6 to play again!
55:22 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Hope you're fast to think on your feet, you sick little puppy! Hope you're as fast as greased lightning! And lightning does strike in the same place twice, where I come from! Pick up the dice! I want you to roll it six times, and every time you roll it, I'm gonna give you a number. Each time you roll that number, you win a key, but each time you fail, you miss one turn. Let's practice. Roll the dice, and I want a... 1! What you roll, baby? Hey, we were only practicing, ha ha ha ha... now here's the real deal. Roll the dice, and I want... 6! Yeah? Roll it again, and I want... 2! Way to go. Roll it again, and I want to see a 3. I hate it when that happens. Roll it again for a 4. Looking good. Roll it again and give me 5. Looking REAL good. Last chance, baby, and I want to see... 1. GAME'S OVER, BABY!!! *weird transition sound*
57:21 - Yo! Who's winning? Who has the most keys? Thrill me! It's double or nothing, baby! Toss the coin! Heads, and you double your keys, but tails, and you lose them ALL!!
57:52 - Yo! Whose go? Thrill me! Let's dance! I call it the shuffle! Take the pack of "Nightmare" cards, and start shufflin'! I'll tell you when to stop! *Baron looks down for a few seconds, and then looks up again* STOP! Now take the top card! Recognize the handwriting, baby? If it's yours, then this is your lucky day! Re-shuffle the pack and take all your keys. But if it's not, hit the hole!
59:04 - (the Baron's eyes are now black) Hey kids, it's down to the line! Take it in turns to roll the dice, and whoever rolls their number first, gets all their keys!
60:00 - Time's up, losers! Winners are grinners, and I'm flashing the ivory! And taking a bow. I hope you have a nice night's sleep, children, and don't forget to check under the bed!
Announcer: If you like it hot... the video board game Nightmare is on a fast broil!
Anne de Chantraine: *cackling* Take one Gatekeeper...!
Announcer: If you've already had the Gatekeeper and the Zombie around for a housewarming, the Witch is really going to turn up the heat!
Anne de Chantraine: Add a dash of Zombie...!
Announcer: With a mix of interactive entertainment that will have you howling for more!
Anne de Chantraine: Bring... to a slow boil.
Announcer: The video board game Nightmare I, II, and III - take them all home, and take them all on...
Baron Samedi: Tonight!
*the credits roll over the original mix of 'Thrill Me'*
Now picture this: It's late at night,
And what you're doing don't seem right.
(You like it?)
The moon is high up in the sky,
I can feel it coming down.
Something's got a hold on me
(ooowee)
Something there that I can't see.
(Thrill me!)
I'm living in a...
Nightmare!
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can
Yo! Nightmare!
(This is like... my wildest)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can.
(Thrill me baby!)
(Do you like it?)
(Oh yeah!)
Now here's the score, it's up to you,
There's only so much that I can do,
(Eh!)
You're gonna need some luck,
If you wanna have a good time.
Give you a heart attack -
Give you a heart attack!
Something's got a hold on me
(ooowee)
Something there that I can't see.
I'm living in a...
Nightmare!
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can
(Yes you can! Thrill me baby!)
Yo! Nightmare!
(This is like... my wildest)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can.
(You've got to thrill me!)
(Oh-wah-oh!)
(You like it?)
(I like it! Oh yeah!)
(Hit the hole!)
(Woo-ah-yeahhhh!)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can.
(You've got to thrill me!)
(Yo Baron, I can dig it,)
(Roll the dice, don't be nice, don't you quit it.)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can.
(What's your number? What's your name?)
(Get ready to start off the game.)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can.
Yo!
(That's right, that's right, I'm sad and blue,)
('Cos I can't do this thing with you.)
(I'm lost, I'm lost in a black hole.)
(C'mon now: give it a go!)
Thrill me baby, thrill me if you can...