View source for 2012-06-13 (PostU) PANTIE CHAMP O' THE WUUUUURLD!

{{Logsummary|
Title=PANTIE CHAMP O' THE WUUUUURLD
|Summary=Another face from the past returns to claim Happosai's prize - even if the entire gathered crowd must suffer for it! Also a (regrettably) short visitation with one of Twisted's vision-impaired citizens.
|Who=[[Devi]], [[Happosai]], [[Lucas]], [[Tabitha]], [[Zukah_1.0]]
|Date=June 13th, 2012
|Where=Nowhereto Park
|Log=
<i>Nowhereto Park - Lakeside(#2930R)<br />
The beautiful view of the lake has now been replaced with a gaudy circular stage with seats arranged around it like a colluseum. Large flag poles are positioned around the seats marking each section with a specific color of panty. Hopefully those are clean...<br />
A large crowd seems to have gathered to watch the events. Adults, children, it's all the same. The boys seem to be estatic, the girls seem to want blood. Perhaps the prize wasn't donated after all?</i><br />
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Zukah seems irritated at the stage that is obfuscating the view of the lake. "Man, I wish I had some beaver friends."
Zukah says, "I bet every animal wants to have a beaver for a friend. 'Cause they've got some kickass houses. Fuck lakeside. Lake-ON. Yeah..." He nods his head seriously."

Devi laughs as she steps out from behind one of the trees. "I don't think that Twisted has ever had beavers." She'd mention the former Red Light District, but this here is a family establishment...

Zukah blinks his eyes independently of one another and peers around. "I'm sure they get plenty," he assures the talking tree -- oh no, wait, it's a lady. "If Meat Loaf can get some, then Twiztid probably can to. I seen the comments they get on the YouTube." He hiccups.
THOSE beavers were angry though. Get it? Angry b...never mind.

Ok, that's creepy. Meatloaf? Naw, there's no way this giant green... Hot damn. She recognizes that hunka green. But this is Twisted, with all the dimensions and crap attached to this place... "Right. I don't suppose you're here for this?" She gestures to the... additons to the scenery.
o/~And I would do ANYTHING for booze...yeah I would do ANY-thing for booze!...

Zukah barks out a laugh mid-hiccup. "Lady, I don't even know what I'm lookin' at." He waves a nearly-empty pint glass at the stage, sloshing out the remnants of the amber liquid out to the dirt. Zukah notices this, upends the glass over a fat, outstretched tongue to make sure it's truly empty, and then casually hurls the glass at center stage. "I CAME FOR A SWIM?" he says, too loudly, and oddly phrasing it as a question.

Devi says, "I'm sure once you find your way to the UR, you'll be here for the bar too." She shakes her head at the huge pile of panties next to the stage, tsking under her breath."

Zukah blows a wet raspberry through his beard. "I SET the bar," he declares, digging into a pocket in his pants and producing a crunchy pickle. He chomps into it and chews, soaking his whiskers with the brine that leaks out the corner of his mouth as he squints at the... Panty Raid? Is that what that banner says? "Wanna pickle?" he asks offhandedly.

Devi grows a small smile as she watches him. Pickes? Oh and it dripped! He may ask offhandedly, but Devi responds immediately, "No, I'm not hungry. Thanks." It's a fight tournament for a huge stack of womens underware, yes.

Zukah just grunts and pulls his hand back out of his pocket, empty. "So, ah... Underwear Fighting, huh? Is this what the kids are doin' now? Who's the favourite to win? What're the odds? I might want in on this..." He pats the arse of his pants, producing a ratty old wallet that he can barely pick open with his club fingers. "I got... One EXP, whatever in tarnation that is, three Granouf's Green Soda bottlecaps an' a WHL rookie card for Jean Le... Jean Lah... for some French broad." He looks up again expectantly. "Say, do I know you?"

Devi crosses her legs and sits down on the ground. "Some perverted old tick thought it'd rally the spirts of the town." She gestures vaugly towards the air in front of her. "There's only been a couple of fights. Not to many people seem up to fighting for used underroo's." In on this? This disgustingly delightful creature? She doubts that he'd be able to, but size isn't everything. "We've met."

Zukah finishes his pickle and wipes his mouth with the only thing he has to hand, which happens to be his wallet. Small wonder the leather is so cracked and rotting. "Did we... fondue?" he asks slyly.
We tried...but it became a REAL fon-don't.

Devi fights the urge to cringe and laugh at the same time, lowering her head to help hide it. She arches an eyebrow up and looks at him. "Fondue? Is that some kind of... No. No we didn't." She shakes her head again. "No, I spent some time with Cale and Caliga."

Whistling through his teeth, Zukah stuffs his wallet back into his pants and shakes his head at Devi sadly. "I'm so sorry for your experience," he says seriously. "In my experience, it's pretty cheap to buy a passable Caliga getup and not all that hard to talk a hobo into putting it on. That's how I worked out most of my PTSD after a 'stay' with that guy. If you don't get too carried away, you can even re-use the clothes afterwards." He looks up at the stage again and groans. "Damn, it's over. How often do they do this? That wasn't so bad near the end..."

Devi tilts her head. It takes her a minute, but when it clicks she buries her face into her hand. "One minute, repression exercises, the next, cannabilism." It was mostly Cale, and she was only forced to deal with Caliga for short times, so it was bearable. "Unfourtantly, the event isn't over. There's still time to enter.

"Eh?" Zukah looks around again, and this time he realizes that the action hasn't ended, it's just moved to another part of the stage. "Well, flat beer on a midget's ass! What're we waitin' for?" And then he's grabbing for Devi's wrist, obviously under the impression that they're of like mind in wanting to carve off a slice of panty-pulling action. "I got dibs on the fat one!"

Devi is pulled forward before she can stop, but slips her hand out of his grasp, made easier by the differance in size and the fact that his hand is slick with god knows what. She gets up rather quickly though, being a fighter herself. "I'm cool. I don't need nor do I want used panties. If I had the bloodlust, I'd be in it for the ass beating, but it's for panties!" Because that explains it all.

Zukah says, "Yeah," as though this is a given and he's stillw aiting for her to make her point."

Devi says, "You're disgusting." She doesn't say it harshly, just in a matter of fact tone. "Aside from the fact that if you guys hung out, you'd sqiush him into juice, you two'd get on well." Peas in a pod, indeed."

"Oh man, whatever. Cheer me on then. Or bet on me if you can find a bookie. See what the exchange rate is on Granouf's bottlecaps nowadays." Zukah flexes the tendons in his thick legs and leaps across the rows of spectators between him and the stage, landing awkwardly and shooting a hand out for balance only to crumple the nearest contestent under his weight. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY," he bellows conversationally into another person's face as he picks them up by an ankle and dangles them upside-down. He then puts them to use as a bludgeon, swinging the ankle and the body attached to it to knock competitors aside in wide swathes. Zukah doesn't even stop to consider that he hasn't even officially entered into anything.

Devi stares with an almost confused face as Zukah wades into the fray, the crowd stepping back for a moment before throwing caution to the wind and trying to swarm over the giant. "It's going to be Gillians Travels all over again." She may not be fighting, but she puts her money on the crowd. This is the first action they've seen in months! "YEAH! GET 'IM!"\

Zukah hears that Devi isn't cheering for him at all, and gets huffy about it. "Some friends I got, eh?" he asks his human bludgeon before dropping him in an untidy heap. And then the crowd is swarming him, grabbing fisttfuls of flab from his exposed torso (which offends him greatly, he finds) to literally climb atop him and cover him. It's vaguely reminiscent of a bunch of japanese bees covering a giant hornet in order to bake it alive using the heat caused by the friction of their little bodies rubbing together... Oops, there goes Zukah's mind, wandering off again. Geez, it's getting kind of hard to breathe. "GEDDOFF! THE PILE OF PANTIES SHALL BE MINE!" he thunders, stomping his foot impressively but not doing much in the way of usefulness.

What are friends for? Plus, just think of the scene. Zukah, tied down by a coupld hundred people, considering how large he is in the first place... That's a kodak moment, man. Devi can only sit and cheer, having no motivation for the fight, and watch the outcome. Sarrah.

The groping hands of the crowd have moved further south in their frantic clawing for handholds, and Zukah is feeling a wee bit exposed as he feels his waistband sag in multiple places beneath the weight of even more hop-ons. What's going on here? Have they abandoned their quest for the pile of panties only to work together to liberate his own doubtless colossal undergarments? Is that what this is? "Joke's on you, Japanese bees!" he yells, his voice muffled by a few bodies that have heaped themselves over his head in an attempt to bring him down. "The Zukahnaut always goes commando!" And then he starts to spin. Normally he'd be wary of such a maneuver -- generally speaking, spinning in a circle is not the sort of activity that a man who drinks as much as Zukah does should EVER engage in by choice -- but desperate times call for seperate pleasures or whatever, right? "BBBBRRRRRRRREEEEEEYYYYYYYYRRRRRMMMMM" goes his airplane imitation as he increases speed (which makes little sense, because airplanes don't tend to spin on the spot either, but whatever, he's having fun). Bodies start to dislodge from his great hulking form, flying through the air and some of them clearing the lip of the stage entirely to land in the crowd of spectators. It's working!

Devi groans as her vivid mind automatically puts him without pants. "LEAVE 'EM ON HIM!" She encourages the crowd from her spot, dodging a few people that have been pushed or thrown back. Shoving people towards him, she laughs. "You're not going to let some hulking giant take those silky bundles of joy are you? Go on!!"

Happosai slowly walks up towards Devi from the fountain with a bowl of ramen, slurping away at it as he watches the carnage himself. "See, I told you that people would fight for panties." SLUUUUURRRRP! "And you said it was stupid." He points with a chopstick and nods, "You also look like you're enjoying yourself. How about I take you on a date and you can show me your gratitude?

Devi rolls her eyes at the tick's apperance, though not totally suprised that he's shown his face. Her face contorts with disgust and anger, her fists lashing out towards him to punch his head. "You're stupid.It is stupid. It will forever be stupid." Yeah! Take that.

Zukah has cleared away most of his hangers-on, though he has paid a price for it. Stomach's contents sloshing around inside of him with every step, the Makyo-jin takes a few tentative, staggering steps towards the goal... before he gets tripped up when the torn waist of his pants slips down on one side to quarter-thigh level and he trips himself up hurrying to grab at it. The sudden change of momentum combines with the lightheadedness of his spinning-induced vertigo to do what the crowd could not, and Zukah sinks to one knee. Hard. It does not go unnoted. A fresh wave of competition surges forth, weighing him down beneath it as Zukah shouts for a time-out, accuses them of cheating and perversion as he grips his pants in place, grits his fanged teeth against the pain of one idgit hanging off of his whiskers, and digs deep for the resolve to get to his feet again. He manages it in one savage burst of motion, shouting in triumph and tearing his pants all the way off so that he stands resplendent in the center of the stage wearing nothing but a pair of boots, torn leggings flapping in his hand like a war banner. "FOR GLORY!" He trumpets, charging like a bull elephant towards the pile of panties. "FOR CLOTHING!" Nobody really wants the prize badly enough to stand between he and it. Zukah wins, promptly burying himself in the pile of silk, cotton and lace up to the waist to hide his little goblin. "FOR THE RECORD IT IS VERY COLD."<br />
Zukah says, "...I'll come out when they're all gone..."<br />
Zukah Promptly begins building himself a panty-fort.

Happosai's rage begins to boil as his head seems to change to a deep red. "INGRA-" ...and that's the point where Devi's fist suddenly comes smashing down into his head sending him flailing his arms and crashing down on his ass. His bowl of food crashes down on his head as well leaving the old man over the edge. "FINE!!! YOU WANT TO FIGHT?!? MAYBE YOU WANT TO FIGHT OL' HAPPY!" He reaches into his gi to pull out-Why are people cheering?<br />
The old geezer stares as 'mount panty' suddenly poofs in a shower of panties and the newcomer vanishes beneath them. "I... wha-!?" He leaps towards the stage for a better view and looks in horror as the audience seems to have taken more than a bruise or two themselves. "Um... THE WINNER OF THE SPECIAL SECONDARY PRIZE GOES TO...!!!"<br />
He leaps towards the pile himself and scolws at them. "You better run with this before I have a riot.

The crowd is at a loss, stunned by Zukahs actions and they, already tired and abused from the fight, let him at it, trying to pick up those who just arn't strong enough by themselves anymore. Devi cheers and laughs enthusiastically with the crowd, the fact that she actually got a hit (however superfical) on Happy boosting her. She shakes her head and turns to walk off, pleased that she got to see this.
Zukah says, "I'M THE ZUKAHNAUT! PANTIE CHAMP O' THE WUUUUURLD!"

The old man stares silently a moment and then turns towards the crowd. "ZUKANAUT!" At least half of them are cheering. The rest seem to be in too much pain. Oh well, at least it means the show can keep going a little longer. "Y'know, if you want the rest of my collection, you should try actually entering the tournament and fighting." He pulls a noodle off of his head and flings it at a random pedestrian. "If you're not too tired from the bezerker rage you've accomplished, that is."

"You mean actually fighting?" Zukah asks, peeking out from his panty fort. "This all sounds very familiar. I may have already agreed to be in this tournament." He's thinking of another tournament, naturally... one that he passed out and slept through something like two years ago. "Yes, I am. I'm actually in a strict training regiment to prepare for the big day," he says with sudden authority, emboldened by the feel of ladies' underwear pressing all over his skin. "This was a part of it, you see." He waves a hand at his fort, a thong hanging off of his thumb. "Yes, I certainly cannot wait until the...?" he says, trailing off and looking at the old fellow expectantly.
Happosai stares trying to figure out what the green man is ranting about. Maybe he was hit on the head too hard and can't finish a sentance? "...next fight?" The old man sweatdrops. "You just stay here. Old Happy's gonna go get some more ramen and the company of a pretty..." He looks for Devi who seems to have left. "...lady?" Poor Happy.

Zukah follows Happy's gaze and realizes, as well, that Devi has slipped off. Then he remembers that she had been cheering against him, and doesn't see why he should care. He busies himself with tying together a whole mess of used panties instead, fashioning himself a very fashionable pair of pants from them as only the world's greenest redneck ever could.

While Happosai and Zukah... converse... in wanders the not-so-proverbial blind man. He's been able to figure out that there is some sort of celebration going on, and that there are numerous people fighting over something... but the signs pointing him this way were all signs. Lucas' condition rather prevents him from actually reading, so by the time he reaches the lakeside, he has very little idea of what's going on, other than what he can hear. And what he can hear? It's not very inspiring.<br />
"Sounds like the strangest party I've ever heard." The young man has his hood up as he wanders towards the 'festivities' with his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. "...Wonder if I'll get to pass by unmolested." ...Of course, he means without being accosted, but it seems that Lucas' choice of words is rather poor, sometimes. He walks towards the scene as it unfolds, deciding to steer well around the giant man covered in light, fluffy things. He probably doesn't want to know.

Tabitha is still siting by the stage quietly watching the goings on. At least until Lucas passes by. "Molested? Whaddya think this is? Some kinda orgy?" She's blunt, but she's right. Her gaze sleepily stares off in the direction of the mound of panties and sighs. "...I swear if my clothes are in there..."

The catgirl's comment draws Lucas' attention, and he glances toward her, gravitating in that direction once some faint glimmer of recognition goes off in his head. "Ah... I think I remember you. Still wanderin' around trying to find everyone on that list?" He sends the playful question her way, reminding her of the circumstances they met, in case her memory isn't much better than his. He assumes he's not very visually recognizable - a scruffy guy in a hoodie isn't exactly the pinnacle of flashiness or significance.

Tabitha licks the scab across her bottom lip. "Naaah. I gave up. I think ol' horn-head was yankin' my chain. Just sucks 'cause he hasn't asked me ta do anything since." She offers the seat next to her. "Ya ain't missed much if you came ta see the show, but it's deffinetly been a weird 'un."

There's an odd tilt of Lucas' head as he nearly looks past Tabitha, and then he starts heading over to the seat she's offering. He may be blind, but he can navigate well enough to fool most people that aren't paying attention. He takes the seat next to her since she offered, and grins a bit. "Well, his namesake is known for gettin' up to some mischief now and again." He glances over towards the 'show' Tabitha speaks of, and tilts his head. "What kind of show are we talkin' about, anyhoo? I don't rightly recollect what any of the signs said." Not being able to read will do that to ya, bud.

Tabitha eyes him suspiciously a moment, but quickly writes it off. Something's off about him, but she's not sure yet what it is. "Some ol' geezer went an' stole every bit of underware he could get ahold of an' decided ta hold a tournament an' give them away as prizes all because I said it'd gotten borin' around here as of late." She sighs heavily and scritches the back of one of her ears. "I tried ta enter it myself but I didn't make it very far..." The girl forces a smile to show her scabbed mouth but quickly winces and ow's because of it.
Tabitha says, "There's only been two fights so far, an' tha ruckus th' green guy made when he stormed off ta claim part of tha panties as his own. Still a ways ta go I guess...""

Lucas glances at Tabitha's lip, but doeesn't seem to react until she winces, at which point his look becomes sympathetic. "Sorry to hear that. Still, it doesn't much seem like you missed out on the most temptin' o' prizes, y'know?" He doesn't seem to think a mountain of undergarments is worth fighting over. Must not be from around here. Throughout the conversation he makes eye contact, so it's pretty hard to tell, but his eyes are blue and glazed over a bit, so if nothing else, one might suspect he's high.

Tabitha just... stares. "I want mah clothes back! Is that too much ta ask for?" She sighs and stares blankly. "Whaddya think half these people came out for?" She looks around the crowd and then sighs, "Nevermind. I forgot how many perverts are out in th' world again... Okay, okay. AND people who are bored an' like a good fight." She shuts up quickly. This could easily become an endless list.

There's a slow blink as Lucas understands what Tabitha's saying. "...Oh... I didn't follow you at first. I get it now, though. Sorry about your injury." He offers a shrug of condolences, and then smiles. "Maybe I could give it a shot, but I don't reckon I'd fare much better than you." Also, it's probably a bit late to enter. But the important part is he's being a gentleman, right?

Tabitha shrugs it off, "Well, apparently you just need ta find the old coot and ask him about it. He's been gettin' on stage about once an hour an' askin' if anyone wants ta fight. Last fight was some waitress gettin' even with her boss or somethin'. Never seen either one before, but he's givin' out soup by th' fountain." Her ears lower as she thinks a moment. "Actually, come ta think of it I think someone was sayin' you could pick who ya wanted ta fight... I wish I'd thought about that before I got inta mine.

There's a small chuckle of a laugh at Tabitha's plight, and Lucas covers his mouth before apologizing. "Right, well, I'll keep that in mind if I decide to win everyone back their clothes. For now, though, I think I'm going to go head over to the graveyard for some more soul-searchin'." ... Is that a pun? "I'll bee seein' you around, there, my friend." And with that he hops off his seat and starts walking away... again.
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