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Full Name: Chalchiutlicue (Chalk-hyoo-tlee-kway, roughly)
Alias: Calamity Jane/Jade, Calamity for short

Occupation: Fisherwoman, Guardian Spirit
Series: No Evil

Threat Level: Street Sweeper
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Gender: Female
Species: Basilisk Lizard Spirit

Short Description: A tall, slender basilisk lizard in green clothes.

Misc: She speaks in a strange accent that's like a mix of Canadian and midwest American. It's weird.

Age: 19 Birthdate:
Height: Pretty Tall Weight: Pretty Light

A tall, slender, anthropomorphic basilisk lizard with light blue skin, a very long tail which fades to yellow at the tip, and a drooping head fin that starts yellow at the base and fades to turquoise at the outer edges. Always wears a wide-brimmed moss green hat with a pink flower pinned to it, and prefers loose-fitting clothing in varying shades of green with a skirt of some manner, generally made of waterproof materials. Never wears shoes, both because they're awkward with her webbed flipper feet and because they tend to be uncomfortable when wet. She also wears a ring in her left nostril.


Calamity is a magical spirit born from a star on the planet Scourosi, though her real name is Chalchiutlicue. Like other spirits, her purpose is to protect and guide the mortals of the planet, though her young age and lackadaisical attitude have put a bit of a damper on that. In a bit of irony, she was found and raised by a pair of human parents in the capital city of Hollow, predominantly run by an industrial people who came from far away lands. While they accepted magic as a fact of life, the existence of guardian spirits was seen as superstitious hogwash, as the scientific community of Hollow believed spirits to simply be magical humans who discovered how to shapeshift.

Calamity's parents were of course from the "industrial" part of town, and very stuck in their ways despite having two adopted spirit children. Her older brother, a crane spirit named Ichabod, was often chided for his interest in supersitions and astrology, and both siblings had to go in human form at all times, as it was considered a rude flaunting of power to show their true forms. While Ichabod dutifully followed the rules (mostly), Calamity was a rambunctious child who earned her nickname with a notorious rebellious streak. If there was a rule, she would break it, which led to a few run-ins with the law and a strained relationship with her mother later in life (though we're getting ahead of ourselves there), not to mention plenty of fights with other kids. The only place she really felt she fit in was with the "traditional" people, a community of natives who lived in the lower-class part of town.

When she was about five years old, Calamity bore witness to the spread of a sleeping sickness by a magical artifact called the Black Tezcatlipoca, or the Black Ick more colloquially. Her parents fell victim to it, and she barely escaped with Ichabod, who had been studying the four Tezcatlipoca artifacts at the request of a trio of shamans. As they fled, they ran into a pair of canine spirits, Huey and Amaroq, who were fighting over who was responsible for the Black Ick taking their home towns. Ichabod and Calamity managed to break up the fight, but they were attacked by the Black Ick in a strange bestial form. In an effort to protect her brother, Calamity attacked the beast, but was infected with its sleeping sickness. Because of this, she wasn't there to witness the eventual sealing of the Black Tezcatlipoca, though she was one of its many victims who woke up immediately after its defeat.

Life went on as normal for Calamity after that point, trying and failing to get along in a community where the nature of her very existence was treated with disdain. She found a friend in Huey, one of the spirits she'd met during the Black Ick crisis, and the two of them became partners in mischief. They would often set up pranks for other spirits or the people in their respective towns, which typically involved petty theft and generally being public nuisances, while Ichabod frequently got caught up in their schemes as the lone voice of reason. As stated previously, this got Calamity in trouble with the law on a regular basis and led to more than a few alleyway brawls, which put a heavy strain on her relationship with her mother (her father, however, has never been elaborated upon).

When Ichabod graduated from school, he moved away from Hollow to live in the country, where he could be closer to other spirits and continue his studies on magical artifacts. Calamity went with him, eager to leave Hollow behind, and made her home on the river near his treehouse, making a living as a fisherwoman. One day, while accompanying Ichabod to the desert south of Hollow for his studies, the two of them came across a water pump in the middle of nowhere with instructions and a glass jar of water nearby, just enough to prime the pump. Despite Ichabod's insistence that it was a pointless endeavor, Calamity followed the instructions to the letter and tried pumping out some water for them to drink, only to break the handle off... and discover it was actually the tuning fork of Tlaloc, a legendary spirit. Striking the pump with the fork caused it to shoot water into the sky, which became a light rain storm, and Calamity was delighted to discover she could control the water around her using the fork.

Despite Ichabod's notes stating that there were four spells that could be used with the fork, Calamity was only ever able to get the one to work. They eventually set it aside for later pondering and went about their lives again, and one day, Calamity woke up in a place that definitely wasn't her riverboat. Much to her confusion, she found a sign that simply read, "Welcome to Twisted."

As for her personality at present, Calamity is very relaxed under normal circumstances, preferring to just let things go as they will. The life of a fisher suits her well because of this, though when it comes to directly interacting with others, she tends to take to sarcasm even with people she likes. She's uncomfortable in formal settings and dislikes using her human form, and has no problem just walking out if she doesn't feel like being there. Ironically, she's impatient when it comes to other people, preferring to handle things herself than wait on someone else. However, this impatience can be placated by playing to her mischievous side, such as when she was convinced to lead a gang of bandits to a well and trap them inside for stealing a village's food instead of just charging in and cracking skulls.

However, that isn't to say Calamity is violent. While she will raise a fist to people she feels deserve it, she measures her responses carefully. A minor inconvenience may prompt a harmless splash of water, while a good brawl, skin on skin, can sort out a gang of thieves in her eyes. She actually takes her role as a guardian spirit quite seriously when something greater than petty crime is afoot, and will promptly (and bluntly) confront anyone who plans to bring harm to others, regardless of their affiliation. This makes her somewhat of a vigilante at times, though such a concept wouldn't even occur to her. Thankfully, she doesn't use lethal force except in very rare and very personal cases.

To touch upon her mischievous side again, Calamity is actually pretty well-behaved if left to her own devices. Should she feel stifled, as in her younger days in Hollow, that is when she begins to rebel against the system and fight the power and down with the man... and things of that sort. Her respect for authority isn't exactly nonexistent, though she sometimes gets up to some petty theft or the like if she feels she needs something that isn't going to be missed much. She calls it "borrowing", a habit that was unfortunately encouraged by Huey in her teenage years.

She also likes sports. Challenge her to a game of sportsball sometime.


As a guardian spirit, Calamity possesses natural physical abilities beyond ordinary human capability. Despite her lanky proportions, she has enough strength to overpower a grown man and a long, prehensile tail which can grab and lift objects about the size and weight of... an adult male human. Her speed and agility are her strongest point though, as she is able to run at Olympic-level speeds and jump several meters into the air with little effort. She also seems to have heightened awareness to some degree, able to pick out small details in her surroundings that even other spirits missed. In terms of durability, she doesn't feel pain very strongly and doesn't bleed nearly as much as a human, but is otherwise only as tough as an amphibious lizard would normally be.

She can take human form as well, an instantaneous transformation which seals her magical abilities until she returns to her normal form. Sealing her magic or otherwise weakening her enough will also force her into human form to prevent her from dying.

Her primary weapon of choice is Tlaloc's tuning fork, a magical artifact that, when struck against a solid surface, produces a constant musical tone which allows Calamity to control any open body of water in a radius of what seems to be several dozen meters. While she typically uses gestures with the tuning fork to direct the water's movement, this does not seem to be a necessary component to the spell. She can seemingly make the effects more powerful by singing in tune with the fork's tone, from summoning rain to gathering water from a nearby river to carry a group of adult men down a well. She can also direct streams of water to carry her and others as a form of transportation. The fork also has three other spells, but Calamity is incapable of using them, and it is simply a mundane oversized tuning fork in anyone else's hands.

Finally, Calamity is shown to have some skill with knife-fighting, though it's rare to see her actually use it in combat. When she does pull out her boot knife in a fight, it's to kill and all pretenses of doing otherwise are dropped. It takes a pretty major and immediate threat to drive her this far, however, or a very personal grudge.

The Kingston Trio - Desert Pete(video depicts Calamity and Ichabod discovering Tlaloc's tuning fork)
Brother Claude Ely - Ain't No Grave(once sung by Calamity herself in-series)
Irving Berlin - Play a Simple Melody(here sung by series creator Betsy Lee providing the voices of both Calamity and Kitty)

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